Men Tolerate Girlfriends Who Sleep with Other Women

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Men Tolerate Girlfriends Who Sleep with Other Women
Men put up with girfriends who sleep with other women but not with partners who cheat with men--why?

This guest article from Psych Central was written by Rick Nauert.

New research suggests men are more than twice as likely to continue dating a girlfriend who has cheated on them with another woman than one who has cheated with another man. Women show the opposite pattern. They are more likely to continue dating a man who has had a heterosexual affair than one who has had a homosexual affair.

The study, published last month in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, provides new insight into the psychological adaptations behind men’s desire for a variety of partners and women’s desire for a committed partner. These drives seem to have played a key role in the evolution of human mating psychology. “A robust jealousy mechanism is activated in men and women by different types of cues — those that threaten paternity in men and those that threaten abandonment in women,” said Jaime C. Confer, the study’s lead author and a doctoral student in psychology at the University of Texas as Austin.

Researchers asked 700 college students to imagine they were in a committed romantic and sexual relationship with someone they’ve been dating for three months. They were then asked how they would respond to infidelity committed by the imagined partner. Some participants were told their partners had been unfaithful with a man, others with a woman. Some were told their partners had an affair with one person, others with multiple partners. Some were told the infidelity happened once, others twice.

Regardless of the number of episodes or partners, the study found that men demonstrated a 50 percent likelihood of continuing to date a partner who has had a homosexual affair and a 22 percent likelihood of staying with a woman after a heterosexual affair. Women demonstrated a 28 percent likelihood of continuing to date a boyfriend who has had a heterosexual affair and a 21 percent likelihood of staying with someone who has had a homosexual affair.

The findings suggest men are more distressed by the type of infidelity that could threaten their paternity of offspring.

Men may also view a partner’s homosexual affair as an opportunity to mate with more than one woman simultaneously, satisfying men’s greater desire for more partners, the authors say.

“These findings are even more remarkable given that homosexuality attitude surveys show men have more negative attitudes toward homosexuality and to be less supportive of civil rights for same-sex couples than women. “However, this general trend of men showing lower tolerance for homosexuality than women is reversed in the one fitness-enhancing situation — female homosexuality,” the authors said.

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Article contributed by
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John M. Grohol

Psychologist

Dr. John Grohol is a mental health expert and founder of Psych Central. He has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues, and the intersection of technology and psychology since 1992.

Location: Newburyport, MA
Credentials: PsyD
Website: PsychCentral
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