Considering A Threesome? Read This First!

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If you're considering a threesome for the first time, be sure to weigh all your options.

How To Have A Successful Threesome:
Bad experiences in threesomes can cause oceans of resent and regret. Great threesomes can be absolutely amazing. Here's how to have a successful threesome and avoid any hurt feelings.

  • Triangulate Your Erotic Energy: A great threesome is something so much more than typical sex with two people; it creates a triangle formation of erotic energy, amplifying every part of the experience. A good threesome is not "first you, then the other;" it is all three people engaging together, pooling their three sources of erotic energy into a common experience. When this works, it can be incredibly powerful, and an experience that you can not reach any other way. The caveat: when the energy isn't flowing between all three people, the connection between any two is compromised. If two people on the bed consumed with one another and the third is sitting there, feeling left out, the net experience will be less than the two people could create alone. As a general guideline: if you are going to have a threesome, make sure to include the participation of all three people. Go to great lengths to make sure no one feels "left out." Get more advice on how to triangulate your erotic energy in the book How To Have a Threesome!
  • Choose Your Partners Wisely: Many people wonder if they should have a threesome with a friend or a stranger. There are benefits and risks to both. Strangers provide less risk for longterm emotional fallout, but higher risk for personal safety. Inviting a friend into a threesome is more emotionally charged, but can feel safer. Plus, if it is successful, you may be able to repeat the fun over the years! Don't have a threesome with an ex-lover or your best friend; the emotional risks are far too great. For most people, the best choice is someone you know and trust but who doesn't play a pivotal role in your life.
  • Be Excited About Everyone Involved: Make sure everyone involved is erotically excited by everyone else in the threesome. This is especially important if sexual orientation is an issue. The same-sex contact in any given threesome can range from very little physical contact to full lovemaking and penetration. But the "no-touch between us guys; we are just here for the woman" threesomes tend to fail miserably — if you are so invested in not touching someone, you probably shouldn't do a threesome together. The success of your threesome depends on your attitudes, so make sure everyone has an open mind and open heart. Discuss all of this ahead of time so expectations are clear and boundaries are firmly established before you dive in.
  • Expand Your Definition of Sex: It can be incredibly thrilling to have a threesome that doesn't include intercourse. You don't need to go "all the way" to enjoy all of the benefits of a threesome. Consider starting your threesome explorations with agreeing to stick to non-penetrative sex. Using your hands to give one another pleasure is both super hot and safe. You can still explore the intense sensations and erotic potential of three naked bodies in bed together, but without all the emotional and physical risk of intercourse. This "starter" threesome can be a good way to explore at first, and if it works for you emotionally and physically, you can always go further next time.
  • Keep It Safe: Safe sex is always essential, but if you are bringing a new partner into an established relationship, you'll want to refresh your commitment to safe sex practices. You won't be able to relax and enjoy yourself if you are worried about contracting a disease or an unwanted pregnancy. Make sure all three of you are on the same page about safe sex, and buy extra condoms, dams and gloves: you may go through a lot during a successful threesome! Keep reading...
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