How long should you wait in a new relationship to share a fantasy with your lover? According to a new Durex survey, men say they want to share fantasies as soon as possible - within the first three months of a relationship. The women surveyed chose to wait a little longer to share their fantasy, reporting 6 months to a year of a relationship is time enough to build the trust to start having the intimate conversation about fantasies.
We share a complete strategy on our free podcast episode, How To Share Sexual Fantasies With Your Lover.
Here's some tips to get you started!
Share A Fantasy, Reap The Rewards
There is a lot to gain from talking to your lover about your fantasies. Only by getting vulnerable and revealing your true erotic self to your lover will you ever have the sex life you really want. Your sexual fantasies reveal your inner workings as a sexual being: what turns you on, what you find thrilling, what you want to experience. As you think about sharing a fantasy with your partner, we encourage you to maintain a strict boundary between fantasy and desire. Fantasy is the realm where anything is possible, the realm of your erotic imagination. Desires, on the other hand, are what you want more of in your actual sex life. By maintaining this boundary you can be free to discuss your fantasies without having to worry about what it “means” about you as a person. You can be honest as you share your fantasies and really let your lover get a glimpse of who you are as a sexual being. From there, you can start determining what you desire as real experiences. If, for example, you fantasize about being abducted by a stranger and sexually ravished, you probably don’t want that to happen in real life. But you may have very real desires for more forceful, rough sex. Perhaps you are ready to explore erotic spanking, or light bondage.
Once you can name your specific desires, you’ll be much more likely to actively explore and bring these desires to life. If you fantasize about being in charge and taking control in the bedroom, you can take very real steps to gain more confidence so you can be the boss in bed once in awhile. Your erotic imagination is the most reliable source of information when it comes to creating a fulfilling sex life. What do you really want? What do you want to experience in your sex life? Many women have a hard time answering these questions, and by getting in touch with your sexual fantasies, you’ll be able to start communicating about what you really want from your lover. To share a fantasy with your lover is revealing your most intimate thoughts. To share desires with your lover you are actually creating the potential of sharing a much more creative and exciting sex life.
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