Long ago, love letters were written to express longing and desire. They were dispatched by messenger and reached their destination days, weeks or months later. Today, there is sexting. At the tap of a finger you can send a few lines to your beloved and they receive it near instantaneously.
Can sexting still be romantic? Can sexting fuel a fabulous sex life? Absolutely! But sexting can also lead to awkwardness, resentment and flat out disgust. Here is the grown-up’s guide to sexting - so you can use technology to your erotic advantage and avoid any embarrassing mistakes! Want even more sexting advice? Listen to our free podcast episode Sexting For Grown Ups
Sexting Tip #1: Use Sexting As Foreplay
For some long distance relationships, sexting is the main event. For most of us, sexting is all about creating anticipation for when you get together in person. So treat sexting as part of all-day foreplay and aim to build anticipation and desire for your next big date night.
Sexting can be a way of planting the seeds of desire, letting your lover’s imagination take over and slowly build up desire for you. Thinking about sex during the day can be a powerful way to get slowly turned on so you don’t have to start from scratch when you see one another that evening. But think of it as a slow simmer.
Like other kinds of foreplay, start sexting with a gentle approach and only gradually build up the intensity. Start an exchange with a playful, flirtatious text and see how your lover responds. Are they in the mood to sext with you today? Or not? Learn how to sext with finesse and it’ll go a long way to keeping the relationship hot in the long run. Sext with neediness or insensitivity and it can drain your lover’s libido in no time at all.
Sexting Tip #2: Build Anticipation For The Real Thing
We encourage you to “sext like you sex!” Don’t sext about things you haven’t done yet together, or jump right to super explicit and raunchy sexts. Sexting can be a seduction: and seduction is all about creating an irresistible invitation. Send your lover sexts that name what you loved most about the last time you made love, or make specific requests for the next time.
You could sext, for example, “I can’t stop thinking about how you touched me last night, my body shivers at the memory” or “Remember that amazing spanking you gave me a few months ago? When can we do that again?” or “I’m having a super stressful day. Could you help me unwind tonight?”