Whether you're 20 or 50, these erotic tips will get the spice back in your bedroom.
I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Joan Price, an expert on "ageless sexuality" and author of the new book The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain or Regain a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life.
While she focuses on guiding seniors in having great sex lives, the wisdom she shared is relevant for us all. The truth is, the earlier you can adopt these lessons in intimacy, the better your sex life will be for the rest of your days.
So whether you are in your twenties, thirties, or beyond, here are five nuggets of sex wisdom that can transform your love life:
1. Get Over The "Ick" Factor
50% of men and 30% of women over the age of 70 are still sexually active. So why is senior sex ignored by our culture at large? Joan Price said it is mostly due to the "ick factor" of thinking about "old, wrinkly bodies" having sex.
This attitude holds us all back in bed. It isn't just wrinkles that make us crinkle our noses. Being too fat, too thin, too hairy, too different from magazine models can make anyone feel unworthy of feeling sexy and having a great sex life.
Make an effort to get over the ick factor and acknowledge that everyone, no matter what they look like, can have a great sex life and feel incredible pleasure. This attitude will give you permission to have more fun yourself.
2. Talk About Sex Without Shame
As Price educates seniors about sexuality, she takes a matter of fact attitude about even the most taboo topics. She reports that most people are immediately comforted by this approach and find themselves having direct, candid conversations about topics they have never talked about in public before.
We can all contribute to creating a culture where we are all free to talk about sex without shame. The more comfortable you are with the topic, the more you can invite others into that comfort zone. Challenge yourself to have a conversation about sexuality with someone in your life.
It doesn't have to be personal details; you can discuss current events, sexuality in culture, or the messages you received as children. You may be surprised how fascinating and surprising these conversations can be.
3. Get Creative In Bed
Folks over fifty have to get more creative in bed as their bodies express more limitations over the years. Price reports that conditions like arthritis can force you to change your sexual routines and this challenge can pave the way to much more adventurous, exciting sex.
Don't wait for your body to force you to switch things up. No matter how young and able-bodied you are, trying new things in bed will slay sexual boredom and allow you to explore new experiences with your partner.
4. Embrace Eroticism Without Erections
One of the biggest changes for men over fifty shows up in their erections. Price states, "the changing male sexual response is not a reason to panic, but an opportunity to see sex differently and enjoy it fully."
This attitude is echoed in many of our Pleasure Mechanics community members, who report having the most fulfilling sex of their lives in their golden years. They report slowing down, taking more time for foreplay, and exploring other paths to orgasm beyond intercourse.
Let's be clear—men of all ages struggle with their erections. The pressure to perform and erectile anxiety make sex a lot less fun and compound any erectile issues already present. Erections are not a reflection of arousal or attraction, so women must learn to support their male partners and not take a lack of erection personally.
Without the pressure to maintain a rock hard penis, men are much more free to relax and enjoy the sexual experience. In the process, they discover that the most effective ways to pleasure their female partners rely on manual and oral stimulation.
Mastering these skills can make their women very happy indeed and in the long run lead to more frequent, more orgasmic sex for everyone involved.
5. Sexy Is An Attitude
One of our 65-year-old Pleasure Mechanics community members asked Price how to dress sexy without feeling foolish out in public. Her response has much to teach us all. Being sexy is an internal attitude and doesn't depend on how others react to you.
No matter what you are wearing, if you feel good inside and walk into a room with confidence, you can project sexiness and light up the entire room. If you think about it, you know it is true.
We've all seen young, gorgeous women in slinky dresses who look miserable and uncomfortable. We've also seen older women in a simple outfit who glow from the inside out and beam with sex appeal. The difference is all about how they feel inside and the energy they project.
So, if you want to feel sexier, start with figuring out how to feel better about yourself so you can share this internal joy with those around you. This is a surefire way to create sex appeal, no matter what your age.
Click here for the full interview with Joan Price, where we explore more wisdom and inspiring ideas for ageless sexual pleasure. Want a weekly dose of candid sex advice and erotic inspiration? Visit us at PleasureMechanics.com and join our free newsletter.