Even the shyest of people can do handle this.
Do you talk dirty to your lover? How much noise do you make during sex? How much freedom do you allow yourself to express your pleasure with your voice? Most of us could be a lot more vocal during sex, but it is pretty intimidating to get started.
Dirty talk isn’t just a hot trick to turn your lover on. Learning to use your voice and talk dirty will enhance your own pleasure and sense of erotic freedom. Many of us feel really inhibited when it comes to making noise during sex, and it turns out that this really limits the pleasure we feel.
If your throat is constricted, your pleasure is going to be limited. Making noise helps guide your partner in giving you more of the kind of erotic touch you want. So free up your voice and see how much more pleasure is available to you.
Here is a three step process to become a master of dirty talk that will bring both you and your lover more pleasure:
Before you start...
Your noise doesn't have to sound like porn soundtrack. The noise you make during sex and when you talk dirty can be an authentic expression of your sexuality, not a performance. So ditch all the scripts and stay true to who you are!
Practice these techniques when you are already aroused and feeling good. A prime opportunity to start making sound is during oral sex, when your lover is focused on giving you pleasure and you can practice making noise to amp up your arousal and communicate what feels best.
Step 1: Make sounds on the exhale.
With each breath, allow a little sound to escape as you exhale. Start with sounds, not words — oooooh, aaaahh, mmmmmmmm, purrrrr.
This will get you more comfortable with making noise and communicating with your lover. Make more noise when your lover’s stimulation feels good, to start tuning your lover in to the connection between your pleasure and your sounds. Plus, it will get you breathing more fully, a key to expanding your sexual pleasure!
Step 2: Describe what your lover is doing.
Try saying things like "Oh, I love how you feel right there" or "Yes, I love how your fingers feel inside me" or "You look so hot between my thighs!"
This technique is a great way to actually start using words to talk dirty. The great thing is you can simply narrate the action as it is happening, you don’t have to be creative and think about witty things to say. Dirty talk that simply offers a play-by-play of the action is surprisingly hot. It lets your lover know that you are paying attention and are into what is happening.
Throw in lots of compliments to make your lover feel like a rockstar. Try simple compliments like "I love how your butt looks right now" and "You smell amazing."
Step 3: Make specific requests.
This is where your dirty talk becomes excellent erotic communication. Once you are comfortable describing what is happening, start adding simple requests. Try saying things like "I love how that feels, can you go a little slower?" or "You are in just the right spot, try moving a little faster for me, baby."
Most lovers are incredibly generous when it comes to giving pleasure to your partner, so your dirty talk can become a very clear guide to what you desire, steering your partner towards giving you more pleasure. In exchange, be willing to hear your lover as you give them pleasure. The ability to hear a request and adjust what you are doing is one of the sexual skills that take you from being a good lover to an amazing lover.
Once you have mastered these three steps, you can be more confident when you want to talk dirty in bed. And "dirty" is a very relative term. For some, just making noise is enough to enhance their arousal. For others, getting really nasty with words is a huge turn-on. Use the words that are hot for you, and keep it authentic!
If all else fails in your dirty talk attempts, here are four words that are easy to say during sex: Yes! There! More! Please!
Ready to tap into the full power of erotic communication? The Fantasy Method is an interactive guide into the power of your erotic imagination so you can discover your authentic desires, talk to your partner about what you want and create a more fulfilling sex life.