Alternative to Intercourse #3: Watch and Learn
For those moments when your man is in the mood and you are not up for any kind of sexual intimacy, it may be tempting to send him packing. Many men sneak off and masturbate in the shower, or in front of their computer watching adult videos, their pleasure dampened by a vague sense of guilt or shame. This pattern can be toxic for relationships, so we encourage you to open your mind and invite him to stay in bed and pleasure himself while you watch. This is a highly charged activity but can offer tremendous intimacy, so give it a try and see if you don’t agree that watching a man touch himself can actually be really hot - and educational. As he touches himself, watch and learn from the kind of strokes he enjoys, the amount of pressure he uses and the timing of his orgasm. This information will make you a better lover and your curious gaze will heighten his arousal. You can also choose to participate by snuggling up to him, kissing his neck and chest, raking your nails over his skin. Allowing him to enjoy his erotic pleasure in front of you communicates that his pleasure and satisfaction is important to you and you support his right to express his sexual needs - even in those moments when you don’t want to actively participate.
Finding alternatives to intercourse will help keep your relationship hot and sexy - and may ironically lead to even more sex when you are in the mood. By taking the time to honor your lover’s desire and find ways to connect intimately, while respecting your own needs and boundaries, you’ll build the kind of trust that allows a sizzling sex life to thrive over the years.
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