In the year since I launched breakup recovery website Pink Kisses, I've heard all kinds of stories about women getting over heartbreak with moxie, courage and just plain determination. My team and I have come to recognize significant breakups as turning points and chances for redefinition that are rarely simple or easy. We've noticed some things that just seem to be universally true about getting over a broken heart, whether it's moving on after a two-month relationship or a 17-year marriage. We're constantly mesmerized by people's stories.
So, we decided to make it official and put together a comprehensive survey. We asked women across the US & heard from ladies in 39 states and Puerto Rico, ranging in age from 18 to 59. Here's what we found:
Nugget #1: 261 of the 264 respondents (more than 98 percent) reported that they had been through at least one painful and significant breakup; of those, more than one-third had been through a divorce, and more than one-quarter had been through a broken engagement. The majority of women (57%) said they'd been through 2 or 3 significant breakups. ONE DAY Movie Contest: Tell A Love Story, Win Free Flicks & More
What we can learn from it: We've all been there... and most of us have survived more than one tough heartbreak. When you're in the thick of a breakup, it's easy to feel like you're the only one going through it, or at least that your pain is the worst in all of history. That's simply not true. Just as we suspected, the average woman will go through several significant relationships in her life with more than one painful breakups along the journey as well. The important thing is that you look at each experience as a chance to learn from your past and shape your future. You have the ability to create whatever patterns you choose in your own life, and that can be an incredibly positive thing when it comes to bouncing back.
Nugget #2: In our study, a handful of women admitted they never talk about a breakup with anyone... not their best friend, their mother or any co-workers. One participant said, "I didn't talk about it, it hurt too badly." Another said, "I went into a depression after my failed marrage and didn't talk to anyone."
What we can learn from it: The reality is a lot of women feel ashamed or embarrassed by how much the breakup is affecting them. Some of us inherently feel that we'll get over the pain of losing a boyfriend or husband faster by simply denying it's having any effect on us at all. Even those of us who share with friends rarely get truly honest about what we're going through & still deal with a lot of the emotion on our own. The lesson? It's ok to feel vulnerable & to be open with people you trust. It's also incredibly healthy. Experts will tell you that sharing what you're feeling will help you process it faster and enable you to move on to new emotions sooner... so don't be shy!
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