Here are 5 question that can help you change your sex life:
- What is really going on here? (Be very specific about your observations)
- What needs do I have that are not being met in this relationship?
- What am I honestly bringing as erotic inspiration to this relationship?
- Am I afraid to be masterful with my pleasure and express myself shamelessly?
- Why am I choosing to stay in a relationship that feels so unfulfilling and unloving?
Remember, when someone says they are bored sexually, it may have nothing to do with you.
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If they claim that all their other lovers were happy while we are not, this could also have nothing to do with us.
Sometimes this just points to the person being overly identified with certain techniques while lacking the skill or desire to attune themselves to our body.
Perhaps it just reveals their sexual insecurity and lack of creativity when it comes to discovering what makes us purr.
Not everyone is willing to take responsibility for creating delicious sexual connections.
Beyond good/bad, right/wrong lives a world of exquisite experiences.
The gift of this experience is to learn about ourselves: what we love and don’t love, what we deeply desire, where we can stand to learn a thing or two, and what is not acceptable without making up stories about ourself!
When we are able to step back from obsessively analyzing our relationship in attempts to make it better, we give ourselves the space to notice what is actually happening.
For some of us, indifferent lovers are a symbol of how we relate to ourselves! They are mirroring where we have forgotten to love ourselves.
For others, indifferent lovers are an opportunity to discover what is truly meaningful and important to us and to hold that as worthy.
It is a chance to champion ourselves as gourmet and to deepen our own self-love and turn-on.
We are precious. Our pleasure is precious.
And anyone who cannot see and uphold that isn’t worth the gift of our sensual self.
Indifferent lovers gift us the amazing opportunity to learn about ourselves and to discover what really matters to us in intimacy.
Courageously let them go with gratitude and bravely continue on your path of unveiling your erotic intelligence.
If you would love to strengthen your capacity for making conscious choices and for attuning yourself to your erotic intelligence, I recommend you start with my book: The Emergence of the Sensual Woman.
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