Have you found yourself craving touch and intimacy, yet your partner barely responds to your advances?
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Maybe he complains after sex, saying he can’t understand why you don’t orgasm when all his past lovers did?
Or post sex, he just turns over and falls asleep or worse, lights a cigarette and refuses to touch you or hold you for a snuggle?
Having an indifferent lover hurts.
It leaves us feeling unmet, raw, and wondering what in the world is wrong with us.
We berate ourselves for not being sexy or skilled enough in bed.
Feeling sexually broken or handicapped, we constantly feel angry while experiencing insane jealousy and suspicion of all other women.
To make matters worse, we are convinced that our inadequate and somehow immature sexuality will never be able to fulfill the needs of a true intimate relationship.
Ultimately, we struggle to fight the rising panic inside us that we will never be sexually met and happy with a partner.
First off, you are not broken and there is nothing wrong with you!
“If there is nothing wrong with me, why do I feel so bad?”
We are raised in a world that has completely misunderstood the vital importance of sexual intimacy.
In this world, sexuality and pleasure are commodities, they are things we ‘do’ to someone or ourselves in order to ‘get’ a certain result.
The porn industry and Disney fairytales of love have sold us the ideal scenario for intimacy.
Therefore, when we are experiencing an indifferent lover, it shatters our illusions of what love/desire needs to look like.
And our default is to blame ourselves for destroying our ‘happily ever after’ fantasy.
The first step in recovering from the death of our romantic ideals is to recognize this as an incredible opportunity to get real.
Getting real is sexy and is a profound relief to our psyche.
What does it mean to get real?
It means recognizing our own insecurities and false ideals along with our projections—the image of love/desire we project onto another person believing it to be real.
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It also means having a good look at our current reality and being willing to ask ourself some tough questions. Keep Reading...
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