There is no joy in living this way. The lack of self-worth creates a neediness that interferes with our ability to make our lives and relationships work in a functional way. When we read this list and we see that most of that is true for us, we also can see that we are turned off by our own behavior. Internally we know this is not attractive and it makes us feel unattractive. Having this insight is the signal letting us know that we need to change this pattern in order to develop a stronger sense of self-worth. Each item on the list is what I call a “don’t want.” A don’t-want is a great experience to have because these help get us clear on how we no longer want to feel behave or think. To effect change we have to look at each don’t-want and find it’s positive opposite and learn to think, feel and behave toward what we Do Want. Let’s transform this list.
Constantly comparing ourselves to other people and seeing ourselves as not measuring up.
There is only one of me and here is a list of my gifts (make your list now).
My gifts are not the same as others, they are uniquely mine.
Basing our opinion of ourselves on how we think others perceive us.
My thoughts, opinions, values and beliefs have value and in sharing them I let people know who I am and who I am not. This helps me to believe in myself.
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Desperate for love, and loving all the wrong people.
I am lovable enough to find the right person and I will no longer settle for less. If I am
not finding good love then I am not giving myself good enough love. I will start loving me
and putting myself first.
Poor body image
My beauty is in my control. I have the power to be as beautiful as I want to be inside and out. I will take advantage of all choices available to me to become someone I am proud to be.
The need for constant reassurance from others that we are smart, attractive or lovable.
I am committed to being active in my life and to achieve my goals so my internal rewards fulfill me from within and no longer make me dependent upon needing it from others. I am smart, beautiful and active in my life.
Caring more about what others think of us than what we think of ourselves.
The only opinion of me that matters is my opinion of myself. If I do not like myself then I need to change. The way to change is to be as active in my life with my passions as possible. I will make that commitment today.
Always putting others before ourselves
I will say yes when I want to say yes and no-thank-you when I need to say no. This wayI have boundaries and am making statements of who I am around what I like and don’t like.This gives me a stronger identity. The stronger I am in my own identity the better I will feel.
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Consumed with feelings of guilt and fear.
As long as I become my own emotional determiner and worth-provider I will be safe in the world.