ProConnect

Take the Desperate Out of Love

By

Take the Desperate Out of Love
Stop Your Tired Chase For Love and Love Will Show Up

When you are feeling out of control or desperate that is your sign not to try and control what it outside of you but rather to go inside and to take care of that emotion. Go inside and have a nice long visit with whatever is driving you to be desperate and work on stopping your urge to go in and try and control someone else to make you feel better inside about yourself. When we are acting crazy, we know it. There is no one outside of us that can really make us feel better about this. Scale back, when you feel out of control and focus on yourself. You are essentially the only thing you have any control of. If you do not have control over yourself you will drive all love away. So, grab your wits about you, go inside, and focus on yourself.

You should always come first. If you have plans keep your plans no matter who calls, if you don’t feel like doing something for someone don’t do it. Learn to say no when you need to say no. Learn to assert yourself in this way so people can really know who you are instead of who you are trying to be to make them happy. It is best to be loved for who you are don’t you think? Remember courage dismantles fear. Step up and be yourself, learn to put yourself first and you will become mysterious, more unpredictable, not so available and much more attractive. You are beautifully you and if you don’t find yourself beautiful then you have emotional work to do. Get yourself to the place where you are strong enough to set your way. Stop chasing as it is wasteful and only serves to lower your self-esteem and to increase your desperation.

There is really no reason to be desperate about anything if we get ourselves into the belief that there is enough of everything for everyone. There is enough love, enough money, and enough time for all things to fall into place. It comes down to each person working their insecurities, studying them, learning to understand them so they can take the desperate out of the insecurity. Insecurity drives desperation and desperation drives love away which makes people even more insecure. Clearly there is only one place to start if we are to take the desperate out of love. Start by loving yourself. You come first and everyone else comes second.  You should not have to audition for love.  When you love yourself it will create open space in your life. 

Love is an emotion that needs space so it can expand.  When you control you block and shrink the space for love to go.  Start with you.  Do what you love, wear what you love, smell like you  love, be what you love, discover what you love, express what you love, be proud of your love, and love will come. 

Little life lesson: When you feel out of control learn to scale back and focus on yourself. You are the only thing you can control.
 

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Friends lunching

Want to Derail Your Relationship? Listen to this Common Advice

Advice from well-meaning friends and family doesn't always help and may even be harmful.

Guy Checking Out Woman At The Market

When Temptation Strikes: Dealing With Attraction to Someone Else

Is natural for human beings to be emotionally or physically attracted to others?

Tips For Re-Entering The Dating Scene After Divorce

10 Tips For Re-Entering The Dating Scene After Divorce

Divorced? It's time for you to get out and meet your match!

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS