Is Texting Helping Or Hurting Your Relationship?


Is Texting Helping Or Hurting Your Relationship?
Texting can produce substantial stress for couples unless the ground rules are made explicit

If you are not able to see the person for a significant amount of time, then texting/calling/emailing is understandable. But it should not be something you should rely on. I also feel that keeping in constant contact with someone through texting is not healthy as well. If you're constantly talking to each other, what is there to talk about and catch up on when you see each other? In a relationship, it's essential to lead your own life outside of the relationship, your world should not constantly revolve around the other person or you will lose sight of who you are as a person.

Sean added...."It doesn't just effect dating, I've had the odd friend give me a hard time for 'ignoring' texts. I don't like the 24/7 contact and expectation to respond ASAP. It burns me out. I like my space in relationships. The expectation to be constantly together can be smothering enough without constant texting. However, I'm not the only person that feels this way. I'll find one of those guys :-)" If a girl is using a cellphone like an e-leash early in the relationship, I can treat that like a red flag. Better to know now than later. I've seen people that cannot go out to lunch with pals without her keeping constant dibs on the cell phone. Its not how I'd want to live.


Previous generations were less accessible when they started to date. Many couldn't leave a message or voicemail. Now most of us have, by courtesy of the cell phone, the capacity to be in constant contact with our new partner. Years before, daters had to use a landline, and hope whomever you called was at home. That was the basic way to make contact. Whereas before you could be apart for a few days and then catch up, texting provides a more convenient mechanism to conceivably stay in constant contact. This brings up the universal question..."how often should I text or call?" There are those who want frequent messaging. It reassures them and provides validation for themselves that their partner is thinking about them.

But, there are those who see this practice as a deal breaker. Case Scenario: Allison worked in a hospital. She had a great thing going with Kyle and everything seemed to be going fantastically except for one thing, he constantly texted her at work. Often she was busy. He would write he missed her and was thinking about her. She found this to be suffocating and she warned him to stop. He didn't heed the warning. She became more turned off and thought he was manipulative, insecure and didn't listen. She felt discounted. She needed him to find other support systems but he seemed to want to escalate with her. He couldn't see how he was sabotaging the relationship.

Some build a relationship on blogs, facebook, or by texting. It provides a less personal mechanism to gradually get to know someone and many find this beneficial and comforting. Texting represents a low rung on an intimacy hierarchy . Talking on the phone, and meeting are more personal and provide a higher level of interaction but can produce more social anxiety.

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