We can dip into that pool of multifarious assumptions and take that dive off the high board, sharing what our history and attitudes about money truly are. Come clean and take ownership of that piece of our lives that have held us in darkness and shame. Get rid of that prickly burr that has been between our saddle and our jeans.
That silence has kept our partner away, unbeknownst to him. Watch how your levels of intimacy shift once you have shared that long buried secret. His response, his acceptance of your need to hide, his compassion for your willingness to be vulnerable will encourage you to share more, to be more current with him. You will feel amazingly lighter, freer and, more in control.
And this willingness to share will then spill into other areas of your relationship. When you start opening up, you will really get to discuss other dicey topics, like his family's intrusiveness, his lack of involvement with both of your children, his seemingly declining libido and the list can go on. You are not the only one who brought "luggage" into the marriage.
This is one of those lessons you have heard forever but avoid putting into action: communicate from your heart, not your defenses. If your spouse is unresponsive, unforgiving and insensitive, you need to decide if you want to live this way for the next 50 years. You have the power to make a choice, choose truth and respect.
If you're struggling to untangle your emotions from your money, remember it's never about the money … even when it is!
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