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SHAME Can Be The Portal To Intimacy In Your Relationship

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SHAME Can Be The Portal To Intimacy In Your Relationship
What you avoid will control your relationship

As women, SHAME comes in our starter kit. The perception that we, as authentically born, are not ‘good enough’. Our worthiness is like a sieve; we hold those moments of pride fleetingly. We smile and nod with seeming to agree acknowledgements.

We feel disconnected to the applause, accolades, and requests for attention. Our moment in the sun fades like twilight, leaving us bewildered and returning to our former position…conflicted and fearful, listening for the other shoe to drop.
That wave of self-consciousness that sweeps over us when the SHAME trigger gets pulled.

More from YourTango: You And Your Financial Secrets: Why Faking It Won't Work Anymore

Is this your marriage?
Do you have moments of ‘thinking’ you are close with your partner, only to have them fade away and you return to that gnawing, subtle, fleeting feeling of dis-connection and insecurity?

Without question, SHAME is the quintessential emotion.

I learned this in 2007 when I started to dig myself out of financial denial. In reading about letting go, healing, trust, repressed anger, I felt, finally, someone put language to feelings I had but could never accurately define. I could connect my feelings of a lack of worthiness to not paying enough attention my finances. 
I was finally able to differentiate between GUILT and SHAME.

More from YourTango: The Upside Of Anger

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Pegi Burdick

Money Coach

Pegi Burdick

The Financial Whisperer® Untangling Your Money From Your Emotions

Check out my book:  It's NEVER about the Money...even when it is

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Empowering Women, Financial Stress, Life Management
Other Articles/News by Pegi Burdick:

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