How Money Discussions Can Strengthen Your Marriage

By

How Money Discussions Can Strengthen Your Marriage
How to keep your relationships long lasting and authentic

       How Money Discussions Can Make Your Marriage Stronger   

Nothing is more exciting than being in love; your eyes sparkle, your pulse quickens, your pupils dilate, you lose your appetite, you feel expansive and generous. You want this feeling forever, but forever is the future, and where you are now is reality. 

 

The key to a long lasting, loving relationship is intimacy; being honest and real with those close to you. They could be your romantic partner, closest friend, or family member.  

How many times have you heard: “I don’t know what happened, one day he came home and said it was over.” Or, “I think he is cheating on me.” Or, “It’s been 3 months since we’ve had sex.” 

At the end of the day, what we all want is acceptance. This is one of the reasons we are so attached to our pets; they accept us no matter how we behave, what secrets we keep from them, or that we put our needs first most of the time.  

Acceptance and rejection is the seesaw we are constantly on if we allow our fears to dictate our actions. Being able to talk to those closest to us about the things that cause dis-comfort and shame is a test.

Being able to talk about money is the #1 challenge. If we don’t talk, it sits in our living room like the 500 lb. gorilla with everyone tip-toeing around it and will be a hidden agenda in making decisions. 

All of us have “stinky issues” and how liberating it is to let go of them. Money, on one level or another, impacts everyone in every society because it relates to control; who has it, who needs it, how does one get it?

There is nothing more relationship affirming than sharing the shame-filled money issues with that special person and experiencing them loving you more, in spite of what you have said or done. 

That vulnerability is very compelling and oddly enough gives you power and control. You have told the truth. Whoever speaks the truth owns the room, gets the ‘respect’ medal and is perceived as the one with integrity.

But: you need to be aware that sometimes talking to another about something shameful can trigger things within them, and their initial reaction may not be easy, sweet and welcoming; people are complicated and all you can control is you…and all you can take charge of is you.  


How well do you know your partner? In all relationships, we get to both experience the person and observe the person at the same time. Being clear about who they are really depends upon how well we know ourselves.    

 

For a free PDF of my book, check out my website, thefinancialwhisperer.com/. Sign up for my blog/newsletter and send me an e-mail with "TANGO" in the subject line, and we'll send you back the book.
 

Article contributed by

Pegi Burdick

Money Coach

Pegi Burdick

The Financial Whisperer® Untangling Your Emotions From Your Money

Check out my book:  It's NEVER about the Money...even when it is

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Empowering Women, Financial Stress, Life Management
Other Articles/News by Pegi Burdick:

How To Step Out Of The Shadows And Let Your True Self Shine

By

Your best friend attracts guys like bees to honey. She is never without a date, never without some guy's eyes following her around the room. She has a well-paying job, or maybe she makes less than you but her social calendar is worth gold. Happiness follows her wherever she goes.  "What"s the magic she has that I lack?" you ... Read more

Is Your Man A Moocher? How To Save Cash (And Your Relationship)

By

Is this your relationship—your boyfriend treats you like the Bank of London, always borrowing money and never fully paying it back? Perhaps he's a struggling artist, working part-time at a local coffee shop so he has free time to work on his craft. Perhaps he even lives with you. He tells you he loves you and you eat it up like candy. ... Read more

The Real Reason I Divorced My Depressed Husband

By

Often, we are so preoccupied with ourselves that we do not notice if our partner is suffering from an affliction like depression. And even if we do notice that they are not themselves, we just get angry since the depressed partner is not able to address our needs. I was married to a man who was financially broke and borderline depressed. In the beginning of ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular