An essential part of committing ourselves to someone for a lifetime is based upon trust and honesty. In order to build intimacy with our partner, we have to share the ‘dodgy’ stuff; the issues we hide from that make us fearful; the things that make us feel vulnerable, small, and shamed, but are the very things that make us human. They make us emotionally available and predictable, which is how we start to learn about each other and build trust with our partners and more importantly, with ourselves. Poor communication reeks of fear.
True romance is based on reality and really knowing the other person. I believe the divorce rate is so high because people don’t know each other that well. They barely know themselves. Marriage is not just about love and commitment. There has to be a foundation. True love is based on respect and trust. When a woman and man can talk about the "dodgy" stuff before they commit for a lifetime, then the real romance begins, because it is based on depth, compassion, clarity and shared values.
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