Do Money Chats Kill The Romance Of Getting Married?

By Pegi Burdick. Posted on Feb 6th 2013.

Avoiding the Pre-Martial Money Chat is an accident waiting to happen.

An essential part of committing ourselves to someone for a lifetime is based upon trust and honesty. In order to build intimacy with our partner, we have to share the ‘dodgy’ stuff; the issues we hide from that make us fearful; the things that make us feel vulnerable, small, and shamed, but are the very things that make us human. They make us emotionally available and predictable, which is how we start to learn about each other and build trust with our partners and more importantly, with ourselves. Poor communication reeks of fear.

True romance is based on reality and really knowing the other person. I believe the divorce rate is so high because people don’t know each other that well. They barely know themselves. Marriage is not just about love and commitment. There has to be a foundation. True love is based on respect and trust. When a woman and man can talk about the "dodgy" stuff before they commit for a lifetime, then the real romance begins, because it is based on depth, compassion, clarity and shared values.

More from YourTango: How to Avoid Marriage-Killing Money Issues

If you're struggling to untangle your emotions from your money, remember It’s NEVER About The Money…Even When It Is! Pick up my latest book from Amazon or visit my website to learn more.

Find an expert!

Article contributed by

View profile

Advanced Member

Pegi Burdick

Author

Pegi Burdick

The Financial Whisperer® Untangling Your Money From Your Emotions

Check out my book: It's NEVER about the Money...even when it is

Location: Los Angeles, CA

Credentials: Other

Specialties: Empowering Women, Financial Stress, Life Management

Website: http://thefinancialwhisperer.com/

How to Avoid Marriage-Killing Money Issues

By Pegi Burdick

Everybody worries. And even if they are not talking about it, don’t assume they are not thinking about it: Money. Caring and worrying are sisters; cheek and jowl. You only worry about the things you care about. But sometimes caring is fear-based and that sets us off on a slippery slope. In these economic times, it would be very ... Read more

How SHAME Separates Being Known And Fear Of Judgment

By Pegi Burdick

All of us have walked this path: We meet who we think might be ‘the one’ and we are drawn into the desire to be known, warts and all. But, we hold back and temper our needs; SHAME often bridles our conversations and we struggle with revealing too much, too soon. Tempting as it is, we try to be in the moment but as the questions start, we ... Read more

Your Relationship Can Feel Like The Fourth Of July In Feb. [EXP

By Pegi Burdick

Reasons why your money and your marriage are sometimes like July 4th in February…and how to fix that. [EXPERT] Nature did not invent the $20 bill. But she did give us gold, silver and platinum. The $20 bill gave us Neiman Marcus. Since the dawn of man (woman) the accumulation of ‘stuff’ has defined who a man was; not his ... Read more