How you think and act every day make a difference. Follow these tips to a better love life.
These days life is so fast-paced it’s becoming a blur of responsibilities, pressures and rapid-fire multi tasks. If nurturing your primary relationship is becoming just one more chore, you may be reinforcing a negative perspective which may cause you to miss the essence of life.
Breakthroughs in the neurosciences reveal that when negative thoughts are repeated, over time they virtually groove a neural pathway to the brain that conditions an undesirable response pattern. But starting today, you can consciously create more positive influences.
Simply incorporate the following 8 key words into your life every day to develop an extraordinary relationship. If your mate also follows the list, the benefits will multiply.
Reflect on feel-good moments when together or you’re thinking of the other. Bathe in a sense of happiness even for fleeting milliseconds when you first awake or remembering something shared in loving words or acts.
These moments accumulate to increase a spirit of pure connectedness. You can never overuse the words: I love you.
Cultivate an ability to overlook faults and devote more attention to the things you admire and enjoy about your mate. Energy follows attention so focus more on quality traits which will expand to become more of what you experience.
There’s time to be serious but it’s important to play. The act of having fun and being childlike wires brain circuits that help to de-stress and relax. Enjoy a playful moment together. Or give yourself permission to be silly while doing an everyday chore. Folding laundry? Put an amusing note in your lover’s pocket to find later.
4. [Be] Healthy.
Make choices that promote physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing. Both individually and as a couple, ask if what you’re doing or saying contributes to building your energies and your loving bond or not. Good food, adequate water and sleep, speaking kind words and giving to your mate are all essentials that foster personal health and balanced relationships.
5. [Be] Intimate.
A heart to heart discussion, a hug, a kiss, and sex contribute to tenderness, understanding and strengthen closeness. The more you reach out and touch with words and gestures, the more you encourage affection and magnify the powerful energetic flow between you.
Detach from worries, issues and tasks for two minutes or more. Look at your relationship as someone less involved might. Let go of judgment. This can help neutralize any run-away emotions and allow you to reconnect to a deeper truth and an appreciation of what you have.
Be one with your partner. You’re a team for better or for worse. Fighting to win produces a loser. Release petty disagreements. Agree to disagree and move on. Support each other to be better than either would be without the other.
Take time for one another and cherish those moments. A woman who lost her entire family in a Christmas-day fire wished she had chosen to work fewer hours to have more quality time with her loved ones. Notice how you spend your time and make more of an investment in your relationship.
It will pay sensational dividends.
Peggy Sealfon is a personal development coach and author of the forthcoming book Escape from Anxiety—Supercharge Your Life with Powerful Strategies from A to Z. Contact her at Peggy@StonewaterStudio.com. Feeling unsettled and anxious?
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