Want to know the secret to catching his eye? Your femininity!
It’s a gift, I’ve discovered — although I have had to learn the painful difference between dating a guy who truly loves me and a guy who only lusts after me.
Either way, after learning that the kind of man that truly matters is one who fought to get me admitted to the hospital with a sucky HMO when I had strep throat, and proceeded to battle the frigid downtown Michigan Avenue winter "hawk" to fill my prescription at 3 a.m., I still have a few hold-over lessons on the kinds of traits plenty of men like from women:
1. You keep your body tight.
There’s a reason why when you spot a mannequin for sale, chances are it’ll be on the slender side. With either the male or female versions, rippling muscles are more the norm than flabby flab.
I’ve found this to be true of guys’ desires in women on the whole, because men are especially visual and tend to like the kind of trophy woman they can parade around proudly.
There are exceptions to every rule, but I’ve discovered brothers like us kind of "thickums" with small waists and nice behinds. Many non-black guys I’ve encountered tend to like us women on the slimmer side, even though that shapely mindset has changed over the years.
2. You exude positivity.
Make-up only goes so far. Yes, I love cosmetics and try my best to put my best face forward whenever possible. Yet still, a prettier attitude has to go along with it. Keep in mind that Bible verse about a rooftop in the rain being a better living quarter than one with a nagging wife.
3. You mix up your wardrobe.
"Boy, you always mix it up," one guy at work said to me in the break room, admiring the way I tended to switch up the way I curled my weave and wore a variety of outfits.
That’s when it struck me, that some men love change and when we reinvent ourselves, because it takes away the boredom. It's like giving them a new woman within the same woman every few months.
4. You get regular pedicures.
If you love girly things, feel free to play around in all the glorious girly details. Manicured fingernails and toenails, lovely lashes, clean ears and bright teeth can go a long way towards telling a guy you care about your hygiene before you even speak.
If you’re the tomboy type, by all means, don’t go changing the things you love just to try and snag a guy. Besides, some men love the rough and tumble look of a girl with no makeup and who’s not afraid to go river rafting at a moment’s notice.
But if it floats your boat to appear feminine, chances are you’ll attract a man who loves the same look.
5. You own your independence.
No matter what looks and attitudes men may love in women — following your own internal voice of guidance and truth about how to live your life can be the most attractive quality of all.