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What It Means To Be A Wife With NO Housekeeping Skills

Couple on train.

Who are the faces behind those ads?

We've all seen them, websites like that promise people they can find love by tapping into the beautiful bevy of women all around the world. Derisively known as a mail order bride, she’s a woman who oftentimes travels from a poor country to the United States or another well-off land in order to marry a man whom she may have only met a couple times.

It’s a fascinating subject when viewed up close. And even though I’d never call them “mail order brides” to their faces, I’ve actually had the privilege of meeting women who’ve been that exact thing in my life.

I’ll always remember reading an article about a woman who appeared on an international dating site who made sure to add in her profile that she “hates cooking!” In essence, she was telling her suitors that they needn’t expect some subservient maid of a wife, but an equal partner looking to love her husband and be loved.

That particular woman ended up finding a husband in the United States that knew exactly what she meant by including those two words in her dating profile – and he wasn’t intimidated by her chutzpah.

In fact, by placing her displeasure for cooking in a prominent spot, that one mail order bride immediately weeded out those suitors who felt it was quite nervy of her to expect to find a mate without wanting to cook. Alas, she did, but I never met that woman in real life. Let’s talk about the ones that I did meet.

The women I actually met that had traveled from far-off lands to marry the men they’d met from America were everything you’d expect: beautiful, smart, brave and ambitious.

After all, you’d have to be quite daring to leave behind family and everything you’ve ever known and relocate to a whole new country, oftentimes alone – with only your husband as a mate.

For a couple of them it even required learning English as a second language, something they’d been exposed to previously but weren’t necessarily as fluent in the language to have deep conversations with other Americans without awkward pauses. Nevertheless, I had a high level of admiration for these so-called mail-order brides.

They weren’t just the hopeful pretty faces seen around the web, but women with real intelligence, real feelings, and a drive to look for love and not be limited by their birth countries.

Of course, security and creature comforts fell into the mix and couldn’t be denied. Who would I be, as a resident of one of the richest countries in the world, to criticize that endeavor? They are women who sought business opportunities along with the chance to fall in love and start a family, as well as help their own families back home.

In the end, my experience with meeting these types of women in real life taught me not to place labels on folks, but to get to know them for who they actually are: real people.


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