Want A Happier Love Life? Find A Role Model

By , ,

role models
YourTango Experts tell us how to use role models to improve our love lives.

What do our role models tell us about ourselves and how can users transform this awareness into action? Role models help teach us what we value most. We learn who we are by understanding why we want to be like certain people.How To Fall In Love With Mr. Good Enough

How can we become more like them?
1.     All of life is acting. Act like the other person until the admirable traits they exhibit become more habitual.
2.     Take time for yourself. Journal how it felt when you tried these new behaviors that your role model taught you.
3.     Ask for feedback. Ask your significant other (or a close friend, if you're single) if they feel more special or valued when you changed your behavior to achieve higher standards.
 --Mary Jo Rapini, Therapist

 

Where can I find a good role model?
If your love life is transitioning, finding a role model who has the love life that you want to create can be very helpful. However, before you think about identifying a person whom you would like to emulate, it's important to figure out the type of relationship you want.

First, think about where you have been. Most people carry baggage from their past relationships. The more you unpack your suitcase before engaging in a new relationship, the better. What worked? What didn't? Self-evaluation and growth are key. The ultimate goal is to take your time, look within, and identify the qualities of a relationship that are important to you.

Then think about the people who are in such relationships. Get involved in events, organizations, and social networks where people with those qualities are members. For example, if your last relationship failed because your significant other did not want children and you do, consider volunteering at a non-profit organization that benefits kids.

One of the best step-mom role models I ever had is a woman who had been remarried for over 20 years who led a step-family support group in my local area. I learned from her example. I asked a lot of questions, and it took time. But, it was worth it. It was very inspiring to hear from someone who had faced the same challenges which I was facing and who obviously loved her life despite the tough issues she once faced.

Having such a role model helped me see that I was normal. For the first time, I felt like I wasn't the only one in the world experiencing step-mom challenges. She helped me identify my strengths and weaknesses and provided ideas for solutions. And, one of the most important things she taught me is that relationships take time to build.

Role models are out there. You just have to know what qualities you are looking for, engage, remain open, and give it time.
--Paula Bisacre, Marriage Educator


 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Paula Bisacre

Author

Paula Bisacre

President, Remarriage LLC

Publisher, www.RemarriageWorks.com - Your Go-To Resource for Remarriage & Stepfamily Living

West Friendship, MD 21794

Stay connected with me:

publisher@RemarriageWorks.com

Twitter: RemarriageWorks

Facebook Fan Page: Remarriage Works

Check out my new "Journal for Stepmoms" - Every stepmom has a voice!

Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides - the Premier Showcase for Remarrying Brides

Sign up for our FREE e-newsletter!

Location: West Friendship, MD
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Stepfamilies

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Paula Bisacre, Mary Jo Rapini:

Getting Remarried? 5 Things Every Bride Should Know

By

When you get engaged to remarry after divorce or widowhood, it can feel surreal. After all, you most likely have been through grief and/or some kind of trauma as you dealt with the circumstances of your first marriage ending. As you experience joy and hope for the future again, you may get extremely caught up in the planning of your second wedding, ... Read more

The 10 Best Christmas Gifts For Him (And They're Free!)

By

In relationships, we emphasize the importance of building one another up, rather than pointing fingers and blaming; but, guys live in a much different world than women do. This is why the best gifts for him are free. Women are networkers and they bond and connect with other women. Guys are competitive, focused and constantly looking over their shoulder to ... Read more
 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular