Preparing for Your Second Marriage is Very Different From the First Time
The premier Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides will be held in metropolitan D.C. on May 14 at River Creek Club in Leesburg, VA. So, what is this event? Who cares? And, why on earth do remarrying brides need an event just for them? Can't they just go to the multitude of bridal shows and expos that are already out there?
When I was preparing to get remarried, I thought my problems were solved once I found a dressmaker to design the perfect second wedding dress, decided where to seat my husband-to-be's prior in-laws at the reception, and answered my sons' inquiries as to why their dad could not attend the wedding celebration. Not so.
And, by the way, as a so-called second-time bride-to-be, I ended up figuring out all of these things, but it certainly wasn't easy.
You know the word 'change?' Not as in "changing" what you are going to wear or seating arrangements, but as in dramatically changing the lives of seven people, aged 6 to 44, all at once in one house? No wedding planner, etiquette book, or well-meaning philosophical conversation with my fiance', let alone a bridal magazine or show, had prepared me for that.
Thus, the concept for an event specifically tailored for the unique needs of a remarrying bride (or couple!) was born. Here are the top five reasons for attending the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides, a bridal event designed for the bride who is marrying for a second (or subsequent) time, otherwise know as encore bride. (Stepmoms-to-be, marrying for the first time would benefit, too!)
1. Here Comes the Bride...Not All Dressed in White. As publisher of RemarriageWorks.com, one of the questions I most often receive is: "What do I wear to my second wedding?" Women who are getting remarried want to know if they can, or should wear white. I can't tell you how many bridal shops I went in to try on second wedding dresses. Dozens of dresses were too long, white, or poufy. Or, they were bridesmaids' dresses that made me feel like I was trying to squeeze into a prom dress again. Or, I looked like I was the mother of the bride when I was years away from that possibility. There are other options, ladies, at the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides.
2. Honey, Don't Forget the Kids. With 65% of remarriages including children, I'm also asked, "How do I include children in our wedding?" At the Remarriage Showcase, you can hear first-hand from encore wedding and stepfamily experts about how to include kids in your wedding, but more importantly, how to navigate kid-related issues that are most likely going to pop up in your remarriage after your wedding day.
3. Problems? Who Says We Have Any Problems? Many of us have heard the dreadful statistics about the divorce rate of second marriages; the rate ranges from 60-70% depending upon which study you read. Soon-to-be stepmothers and remarrying brides tell me they don't want to keep focusing on these statistics. That's fair.
Let's openly acknowledge challenges that remarrieds and stepfamilies face, and focus instead on the often hard-to-find valuable resources and solutions that are available. I'm willing to bet that you will hear about resources to help you in your second marriage from a perspective that you have never even thought about before. The Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides can help you know what to expect when you remarry, and seriously, isn't knowing what to expect a lot better than going in blind?
4. Decisions, Decisions, Decisions. There are so many logistical things to consider before you walk down the aisle again. Do you sell off both houses in this market and start fresh? Can you live in another woman's custom-built dream home? Will your kids be happy in another school district? Will his tomboy and your little princess want to share a bedroom? Will you have a joint bank account? Who will manage the household budget when one of you despises writing checks, and the other detests on-line banking? How will your new spouse's credit history impact yours? Or, you may wonder whether your new spouse's ex-spouse's credit history will impact yours. Even more questions may arise at the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides, and what a great thing that is when you are surrounded by resources with invaluable insights and expertise.
5. Celebrate! It's okay to be happy again following a divorce or death of a spouse. You can celebrate a second chance for happiness. You are allowed to experience excitement, joy, and love again. If you have been divorced, you may experience mixed emotions from family and friends. You may have doubts about whether you should do anything special because you have been there, done that. Not true. You, the remarrying bride, deserve something special as your approach your wedding day. At the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides, come celebrate with us as you see fabulous fashion ideas, get expert advice for encore weddings and stepfamily life, and prepare yourself to have the most successful marriage of your life.
This article was originally published at Remarriage LLC. Reprinted with permission from the author.