Getting older doesn't mean giving up on sex.
By Patti Novak — Written on Oct 29, 2010
Sex after 60 is not a myth, and the same can be said for sex after 70. A healthy sex life can and does exist for many people well into—believe it or not—their 80's!
If you're someone who's suddenly 60 (or not yet there but wondering how sex will fare at that age) and worried that your fun lovin' days are over, here are some smart ways to keep a relatively active sex life well into your older years.
The truth is, sex changes as we get older, but it can be equally satisfying and rewarding. As we age, our minds and bodies undergo many changes, a lot of them physical, and as a result, we have to look differently at how we have sex.
As a mature adult, one should have a good handle on what he/she wants in a partner, and how to go about finding it. You also need a clear understanding of what minimal requirements you have when searching for a partner. Society suggests that attractive people are young, wrinkle-free, have perfect bodies, and smooth skin, so it's no wonder that some older folks have issues with body image and being comfortable taking their clothes off and feeling sexy.
Most people over the age of 60 have undergone physical changes that make having sex more challenging, or even painful. This is an opportunity, however, to discover other ways to have sex (and feel sexy) and experiment with new, more comfortable positions.
Here are a few things to consider and tips to help turn your challenges into successes:
Mechanics:
For many men, erections don't occur as quickly as they used to, or sometimes not at all. Fortunately, there are various, easily accessible medications to help relieve this issue. One benefit to this is that sex may last longer, as ejaculation is delayed thus creating a prolonged, enjoyable experience.
Some women may experience vaginal dryness or deterioration of the vaginal tissue, and this can make sex painful. This problem can be solved with over the counter lubricants, which should be water- not oil-based. Another benefit to sex after menopause is that the risk of pregnancy is eliminated.
Setting the mood, the right way:
There are many ways to get in the mood. Spend time doing intimate things like kissing and caressing. This will help the two of you bond, warm up, and enjoy the moment. Try buying some lingerie, or some sensual scented candles and body lotions for massaging one another.
It's important to have sex during times of high energy, such as in the morning or early afternoon. After a meal, in the evening, or later at night, may be tiring and uncomfortable if you feel bloated. Open communication is key if you're trying to spice up your sex life. Talk about what the two of you like, and what feels good. Keep talking during sex, fantasizing, letting your partner know what he or she should do more or less of.
Remember, there's more than one way to skin a cat:
It's important to remember that sex does not exclusively equal intercourse. If the act of intercourse is too painful or uncomfortable, there are other options to pleasure your partner such as manual stimulation or oral sex. Don't be afraid to try sex toys, either. These can be great aids in rediscovering what feels good to you, and can be helpful during sex itself. Shopping together for toys can put the two of you in a sexy mood, increase arousal and desire, and allow you to laugh with each other in the process.
Embracing life's changes:
You must reject the idea that your sex life has to end when your husband or wife passes away. Once you feel emotionally ready, go out and get yourself a partner! You should not be embarrassed or shy, and you should not resign yourself to the idea that your sex life is over. Romance and physical touch should be with all of us until our last moments.
