Nice guys finish last
By Patti Novak. Posted on .
I have been on a few dates, and I always hear “you’re such a nice guy, but I only like you as a friend.” I thought women wanted nice guys instead of jerks? What do they mean by “nice?” How can I be a nice guy and still get past the first couple of dates?
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If you look up the word nice in the dictionary, some of the words you’ll find are pleasing, conventional, and agreeable. While there is nothing wrong with being nice, we generally don’t equate “nice guys” as being exciting, passionate, or strong- all more desirable qualities.
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Giving too much too soon can be an unintentional turn off that is hard to recover from. Women are looking for a guy who’s confident, opinionated, and lives a full, exciting life with many options. On first dates, the typical nice guy will be very complimentary and agreeable, rarely offering up his own opinions in fear of them being rejected. It’s actually favorable to have your own points of view and to present yourself as a unique individual.
In order to get yourself in the zone of confidence, try changing up your appearance. Nothing trips a woman’s trigger like a guy in a clean-looking button down shirt and a leather jacket, for example. This kind of appearance exhibits high self-esteem and a bit of an attitude.
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I’m not saying you should be rude or inconsiderate towards your date by any means, but don’t be too eager, and don’t let yourself be the one making all the effort. Sometimes when we want something so much, we become unable to negotiate and don’t take our own self-worth into consideration. It’s human nature for people to interpret this kind of behavior as weakness, and therefore as being a less valuable match.
Go into these first dates with an attitude of hey, I like you, but if you don’t like me that’s perfectly okay, since I’m a great catch and know that there are plenty of other women out there that I can have chemistry with.
