The B stands for BRAINSTORM. Think of all possible solutions to the problem.
The E stands for EVALUATE. What is the best/most feasible solution to this problem?
The A stands for Act. Act out the best choice after you’ve evaluated the options.
The R stands for REVIEW. Did I make a good choice? How did it work?
Let’s try it out and see how it works! Let’s say that you have two children and they’re fighting over the computer.
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So first, you ask them, what’s the problem? Then you state the problem in neutral terms, not taking sides with either child. “You both want to play with the computer right now.” Write the problem down.
- Two, you ask the children to think of all the possible solutions. Here are some options:
- Set a timer and each kid gets the computer for 20 minutes.
- Make a chart with times that each child can use the computer. Rotate who goes first each day.
- No one gets to play with the computer.
- Find a game that both kids can play together on the computer.
- Go to the library where there are numerous computers to use.
It’s very important not to evaluate the choices yet. Use the adage that every idea is a good idea. Don’t criticize. Just write them down.
Evaluate the options. Have the kids pick the best choice. (And if they can’t agree, then you make the decision this time.)
- Later, ask them “Was it a good choice?”
If you use the BEAR method often enough with your children, they will eventually be able to use this process on their own. And problem-solving is an excellent skill for your kids to have.
Tattling is something that all children will do. Teach your child a better way to communicate with you by selecting one of these five methods.
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Toni Schutta is a Parent Coach with 18 years' experience helping parents find solutions that work. Get the complimentary Quick Start Report, "3 Essential Strategies for Getting Your Kids to Listen the First Time" here: http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com