Mistakes can happen to anyone.”
7. Praise effort and hard work. Several studies have shown that parents should shift praise from the final outcome to the effort a child puts forth. So instead of saying, “Congrats on the A in spelling,” you could say, “I noticed how you practiced your spelling words every day this week writing each word three times. Your hard work really paid off for you. Congrats!”
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8. Emphasize learning not grades. Ask your child each day to share something s/he has learned and do the same yourself to create an environment of curiosity and growth.
9. Give the feeling a name. If you sense that your child is feeling overwhelmed name the feeling for your child and acknowledge that we all feel that way sometimes. Recognizing the emotion will help your child feel understood. Often times, you can shift to solving the problem after the child's feelings are validated.
10. Quash perfectionism. Making your own mistakes transparent is one way of fending off perfectionism (as well as recognizing it in yourself if that’s the case.) Every night at dinner have people share a mistake made and brainstorm solutions as a family. By doing so, you’re demonstrating that mistakes are no big deal and you can work together to solve anything. Also, remove the word "perfect" from your vocabulary.
11. Create a stick-to-it award. Give daily or weekly awards for stick-to-it-iveness when you see a child persevering through a tough challenge. You could put post-it notes with the accomplishment on a special “we try hard to succeed” bulletin board recognizing extra effort when you see it.
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Toni Schutta is a Parent Coach with 18 years' experience helping parents find solutions that work. Get the complimentary Quick Start Report, "3 Essential Strategies for Getting Your Kids to Listen the First Time" here: http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com