No matter where I am in the country - I am asked the same questions over and over again about my adventures into the underground world of sacred sexuality. In my search for language - I am embracing the term expanded monogamy or monogamish and I would like to introduce it to you if you are unfamiliar with it.
In my own expanded monogamous marriage - I have room to go to sexuality workshops that include me exploring my own sexuality with myself and with others within boundaries and usually in a supervised workshop setting. I am able to be playful in my sexuality - which keeps my own inner fire alive and my marriage sexually interesting. It has become essential to me to be able to explore who I am as an individual as well as in my marriage.
In my own expanded monogamous marriage - both my husband and I have the space to work with sexological body workers and sacred intimates who are there to support us on our own individual paths - and are not about us falling in love with outside people.
Having the space to explore and experiment with my sexuality within the boundaries of an expanded monogamy has supported my 30 year marriage into a place where both my husband and I are happy and has helped us keep the light burning in our own marriage bed. Having room to expand your sexuality and explore over time may turn a once sexless marriage into something else. Creating some room in our relationships for turning up the heat on our sexuality does not have to mean leaving the marriage or having an affair. We simply have to bring this possibility out into the world.
If we have the room to experiment and expand our own sexuality without shame - I believe that more people would stay within their relationships. We just need a little more room to breathe. It's about creating sexual agreements that work for each partnership - and allowing each other the room to grow without ditching your lives.