Let’s face it, we all have a need to be loved. Whether you are currently in a relationship or out of one, admit it, being loved by someone else is an awesome feeling. While this need is valid and important, fulfilling it can sometimes render us dumbfounded and baffled.
Here are some things that your mama may have never told you that may help with the dumbfounded-ness;
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1) Relationships truly are a two-way street, but it’s important to bear in mind that sometimes the traffic on either side is a bit heavier than on the other. That, however, does not mean that there should be a continued imbalance where one partner is always giving more emotionally and physically than the other. Tell-tale signs of imbalance to watch out for are:
- Feelings of resentment
- A drain of energy
- Constant hurt feelings
You don't have to give yourself away in order to prove to someone that you are worthy of being loved. You are worthy and someone who is worthy of loving you will recognize that and want to contribute to the balance of the relationship.
2) Men and women communicate and respond differently from one another in relationships, because they are different. That means that we cannot expect men to share in the same way as women or vice-a-versa. It’s important to understand the difference in communication styles and not try to read more into what’s being said or not being said. If in doubt, compassionately ask.
3) Be willing to be vulnerable. Vulnerability does not equate to weakness, nor does it mean you have to wear your heart as the latest accessory. Being vulnerable means being willing to be you; open and receptive to sharing yourself with the other person. When you can be vulnerable, you set the stage in supporting your partner in being vulnerable too.
4) Learn from past relationships don’t live in them. Living in your past relationships doesn’t leave a lot of room in your life for your current relationship. Honor yourself and your partner by working through any of the residual anger and resentment. Be sure to leave any comparisons at the door and DO look for the good take-aways from all past relationships because there is always some lesson to be learned from every experience.
5) When your partner belches or passes gas in front of you early on in the relationship that’s actually a compliment. Try not to take it as a sign of rudeness or disrespect, because it isn’t meant to be. It means that they are comfortable enough to be themselves around you and that really is a good thing.
6) It is not selfish to want some time for you in a relationship. In order to be your best in any relationship it’s important to take time to recharge your batteries. Self care for you does equate to care and love for your partner.
7) Everyone has different tastes in what they like or prefer. That means that you don't have to be someone you're not or kill yourself trying to look like someone other than yourself. All you have to do is be your most authentic, genuine, and loving self. Why? Because there is someone (if not many someones) who will love you just as you are.