Tit for Tat, Quid Pro Quo
By Pam Babbitt. Posted on .
Tit for tat. Quid pro quo.
You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.
Am I describing your bedroom routine? Is it working for you? No matter the gift, when there are strings attached, the pleasure is often diminished. There’s been a negotiation, or a verbal Declaration of Equal Touch, or maybe it’s just always been the unspoken rule – ‘You do me and I’ll do you.’
Are you left wondering if your partner really has a desire to pleasure you, in the way that you want? Or is he just being dutiful? Is it difficult for you to fully immerse in pleasure when you know that the tables will soon turn, and you must crawl out of your blissful fog to step into the giver role?
Imagine this -
You come home from work, tired, a bit grumpy, your back is sore, and you have a headache. Your partner takes you by the hand, leads you to the bedroom, helps you get naked and comfy in bed, puts on some soothing music, maybe lights some incense, and then leaves the room silently.
He returns soon with a fur massage mitten, some hot massage oil, and softly asks ‘What you would like…and where?’
You are in heaven! The sensual touch is incredible, your headache is gone, your back has forgotten to ache, and from time to time you are asked ‘How can I touch you now?’ Life is good!
As you reach up to tenderly caress your partner, you are lovingly reminded - ’This is your time.’
Your partner offered this gift from a loving heart. There were no expectations, no goals, and there was no reciprocation.
Would you like to bring this dream into reality? Are you willing to be the initiator for the first time or three? You are offering a new paradigm for connecting – one that you may enjoy together often, or just on occasion as a pleasant break from your normal routine.
