Foreplay - The Yin Way


Spend time kissing, with your lips being the only body contact. Feel the sensations, feel the arousal build. You probably know the basic technique, so be creative and experiment with little nips, gently sucking lips, etc. There is an energy connection between a woman’s upper lip and her clitoris, and a corresponding connection between a man’s lower lip and his penis.

Channeling your energies can assist in breaking through your partner’s body armor and connecting with their energy field. Ask your partner to lie face down in a comfortable position. Rub your palms together briskly to build up warmth and energy in them. Place the palm of one hand on the base of your partner’s spine and the palm of the other at the top of the spine near the base of the neck. Close your eyes, relax, breathe deeply synchronizing with your partner’s breath. Visualize loving energy emerging from your heart, through your arms and hands and into your partner’s body. Send loving, healing thoughts with this energy stream. Now imagine sending the stream in a circle from your left hand, through your left arm, into your heart, out your right arm and hand and into your partner. You may want to softly describe this energy flow and ask your partner to feel it with you. If your intuition suggests, give your partner gentle body rocks for further relaxation.


As you begin to massage your partner, do so sensually rather than sexually. Sensuality is the foundation of sexuality and you can also use it to moderate your arousal. Consciously send your heart energy through your hands with each touch. Remember that your hands are extensions of your heart and visualize a melting as your skin touches your partner's. Use light stroking as you begin to awaken your partner’s body, beginning with the periphery and slowing moving towards the core and the genitals. Create anticipation as you tease those sensitive areas, then move away and return often. Vary your stroke technique and pressure, but remember that during sensual massage it is much less important what your hands are doing than how your heart and spirit are engaged.

As an alternative, you might want to start by massaging each other using only skin sensation items such as a dry body brush, feathers and furs, vibrators. Add some heat with warmed massage wraps. Sensory deprivation via blindfolds or earplugs can add novelty. Consider enlivening your sense of smell using scented body creams, or lemon, peppermint, other food items, or essential oils.

You have nowhere to go and nothing to do but relax, open your heart, marinate in the anticipation, and soak up the pleasure.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Pam Babbitt

Sex Coach

Pam Babbitt, S.I. Sex & Relationship Coach 888.719.7119

Location: Boulder, CO
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
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