Foreplay - The Yang Way


Consider rolling on the floor with your partner, clothed or unclothed, as you allow your bodies to explore the possibilities of contact and position. You may want to begin in the improvisational mode and later imagine your pelvises glued together. Shift in unison creating a dance of foreplay. Remain aware and when the body has a spontaneous impulse to change position, allow it to happen, but refrain from going into collapse and abandonment.

Try being submissive or dominant; feel it in your body movements, and notice what you are evoking in your partner. If a position makes you feel vulnerable or exposed, celebrate the newness and the unknown, rather than releasing the discomfort. When you are both relaxed, your bodies will be more supple and less fearful.


Now let your floor rolling escalate into a good, old-fashioned wrestling match. This will bring both you and your partner fully into playfulness, and will also stimulate your power and surrender instincts. Wrestling is another way to get your blood pumping, your heart pounding, and your autonomic system fired up, all proven ways to increase sexual desire. (Safety note: Before engaging in wrestling, agree on boundaries and a stop signal.)

Foreplay is an exciting opportunity to test the “clothes make the person” theory. Show up dressed as a dominatrix, sex kitten, nurse, doctor, or fireman and be open to assuming that role. Very often energies mold to match the outside form. Donning a costume is similar to assuming an archetype role in that you are creating a force field waiting to be filled.

Speaking of blood pumping...let’s not forget the DANCE, sometimes called “the vertical expression of the horizontal act.” Dancing moves sexual energy within each of your bodies, and your dance movements direct that energy toward your partner. It can be free-form or one partner can do a lap dance for the other. How about a striptease? This will help in developing the art of seduction as you give yourself full permission to reveal hidden aspects of yourself, from a shy maiden to the seductress, from the gentleman to the gigolo. Put on some bawdy music and let loose!

Speaking of stripping...there’s always strip poker, or strip scrabble, or strip backgammon.

Another foreplay option is a sensual feast which can be enjoyed in either yin or yang mode, depending on your mood and what you like to do with food. Gather some of your favorite finger foods and feed them to your partner. (Think beyond whipped cream.) This can be a “no hands” eating experience, or you might want to seductively place tidbits on your naked body and invite your lover to indulge. Meal time?

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Pam Babbitt

Sex Coach

Pam Babbitt, S.I. Sex & Relationship Coach 888.719.7119

Location: Boulder, CO
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
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