3) "Say hello" to her genitals. Reach one hand under your lover, and place your warm palm (no fingers, no lube) on her vulva (external genitals). Place your other palm on her sacrum. Hold static for a minute or so as you breathe deeply and slowly. You are saying hello to her genitals, an honoring energy connection. Now gradually increase the pressure of both hands (moving to very firm)—simultaneously press, release, press, release, as slowly as you can. Sensually tickle her inner thighs, and run your fingertips down her legs. Don't rush.
4) Give an awakening massage. Remove your hand from her sacrum and with a palm over her labia, gradually increase the pressure while moving it very slowly in a circular motion. This action massages her labia and entire (internal and external) clitoral muscle, all 4.5 inches of it. Then reverse the direction.
5) Touch and tease. Gently pat some lube on your lover's external genitals. Move her labia aside to expose the head of her clitoris, and with your palm, stroke from the clitoral hood to her vagina. Repeat several times. Now vary the stroking, pressure, and direction as you engage your fingers to awaken every inch of her luscious genitals. Watch her body and listen to her sounds as she indicates which touch techniques are her favorite.
6) Coax her arousal up, then down. As arousal builds, ask her to breathe with you—deeply, rapidly, and with a sound on the exhale. Take whatever time she needs. She may be on the brink of orgasm (though there are no goals or expectations). You may choose to support her through her release, or encourage her to marinate in those sweet erotic juices by bringing the energy down. Remove both hands from her genitals and use long strokes to spread the energy up her back, spine, and down her legs. Coach her in breathing deeply and slowly.
7) Release any stuck energy. Now switch gears. In a kneeling position, place your palms (straight arms) on her butt and thighs as you slowly lean onto her with your full body weight, release slowly also. Repeat several times, then put firm pressure on her sacrum and massage that energy up her spine.
8) Repeat. Continue to read her body, pleasure and tease, increase the arousal level, spread out the energy with long massage strokes, and bring the arousal down.
The Big O
Your lover may or may not experience an orgasm(s). Do not push for her to have one. Simply allow and invite. Her body is seeking satisfaction, and that may appear differently every time, so honor her body wisdom. Do not try to re-direct the path. You will know when she is complete.
The energy disconnect
Honor the energy by offering a sweet, slow disconnect. As in the beginning, place a palm on her sacrum and the other over her genitals with light pressure. Breathe slowly several times before removing your hands. Learn over your lover and whisper in her ear, "Thank you for allowing me to pleasure you." Offer a full body hug, spooning, or she may prefer to be wrapped cocoon-like as she rests.
Before your planned pleasuring time
Re-read my suggestions here and as you read, envision your actions. Then let my techniques rest gently in the back of your mind. When your heart is open and you are immersed in the flow of loving, erotic energy, you will create a pleasuring session that is just perfect, whether or not you've followed my suggestions precisely.
Congratulations on your willingness to join your lover in this new dance of erotic energies.
To really make this advice work, you need to follow these action steps to complete today's challenge.
Right now, I want you to:
Are you ready to "do it differently"? To join your lover in a new dance of erotic energies? YES!? Decide how you will offer the invitation to your lover. A sexy note on her pillow? A loving card attached to a bouquet of her favorite flowers? Or, you could add mystery by simply requesting her presence on [date/time] and letting her know that "the event will be clothing optional."
Within 7 days I want you to:
Erotic energy thrives on variety, so get prepared with a new massage lotion or genital lube, sensual toys such as a dry body brush, a piece of fur, or a feather duster. Just before your pleasuring time, re-read my suggestions and let them rest gently in the back of your mind. Prepare yourself, and then your "love nest," and enjoy a new erotic experience.
By the end of the challenge I want you to:
Show appreciation to your lover for joining you in this new erotic experience, and ask for her thoughts or suggestions for adding even more creativity. Acknowledge the "gifts" that have appeared—do you feel a greater heart connection? Playfulness? An openness to variety and exploration? And… let her know that sometime you'd love to be the receiver.