What Is Sex Addiction & Can It Be Overcome?

By

What Is Sex Addiction & Can It Be Overcome?
Is it possible to learn to work with compulsive or addictive tendencies?

Sex addiction is a compulsive urge to engage in sexual activity, thoughts, or fantasies in ways that are detrimental to an individual, his or her family, friends, and/or work. It blocks the development of true intimacy in a relationship. Sex addiction is also called sexual dependency or sexual compulsivity. Just because someone likes to masturbate or to have sex frequently doesn’t necessarily mean that he or she is a sex addict or has a problem.

For the individual who is caught by sexual compulsion, sex has become something other than an intimate expression of loving connectedness. The pleasure that is inherently present in orgasm or connection with another has been altered and is being used as a balm, an escape, a distraction, rather than being enjoyed for what it does offer.

 

Sexual addiction does not always result in infidelity to a relationship, nor is all sexual infidelity driven by sex addiction. Generally, it is the male of the couple who has an issue with sexual addiction. However, more and more often women are also having these difficulties.

The natural urge for sex, the way sex is used for marketing purposes, and the explosion of porn on the Internet have created a “perfect storm” of conditions leading to sex addiction. To understand sexual addiction, it can help to understand the impulses and motivations that drive sexual behavior.

The Sexual Impulse
As a human, you have an animal body guided by instinct. You also have a reasoning part of your brain that allows you to work with your instinctive responses. In its basic and natural form — if there has not been physical or emotional damage along the way — human sexual contact feels good, touching feels good, having an orgasm feels good. This is normal and wonderful. The natural desire for sex and sexual pleasure is not an enemy.

Basically, we all want to love and be loved. We quite naturally require human connection at a biological level. The natural sexual impulse can guide you to finding the pleasure of sexual contact, closeness, connectedness, and intimacy with your partner. When your natural biochemical responses produce hormonal impulses, you experience sexual desire. However, when those sexual urges get misdirected and become addictive or compulsive, instead of leading to pleasure and connection, the sex drive can lead to suffering.

Biology and Sex
Our needs for sex, touch, attachment, bonding, and commitment are chemically influenced in different ways at different stages of our lives. The hormone testosterone, sometimes called “the warrior hormone,” is found in both men and women. Men, however, tend to have twenty to forty times more testosterone than women. Testosterone creates an urge for sexual contact, but may also foster the desire to dominate and to be alone. Thus, it’s no surprise that men are more inclined to one-night stands — or that they like to roll over and go to sleep afterward.

This article was originally published at Compulsion Solutions . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Compulsion Solutions

Author

Sex Addiction and Porn Addiction—We've been there and we know the way out. Compulsion Solutions offers the time-proven approach of George Collins to damaging sex addict and porn addict behaviors, incorporating scientifically proven “mindfulness” techniques that are now being used by the military to treat PTSD and substance abuse. We've been using this approach and these techniques for over 20 years to help people just like you.

 

 

Location: Walnut Creek, CA
Credentials: BS, LMFT, MA, MFT, Other
Specialties: Sex Addiction
Other Articles/News by Compulsion Solutions:

Can You Rebuild Your Relationship If Your Partner Is A Sex Addict

By

Many women who are in relationship with a sex addict or a porn addict have asked me “Was our entire life a lie?” or “Why have I stayed in this relationship as long as I have?” I believe that a crucial part of recovery and self-growth is understanding what you are working toward. Feeling some sense of positivity is crucial for your ... Read more

I Overcame My Sex And Porn Addiction. You Can, Too!

By

I was a porn addict but I found my out, and now I live a pretty spectacular life. I remember my first experience with pornography. I was probably six years old and staying the night at a friend's house. His father had a collection of porn magazines. That night we hid a couple of magazines under our pillows before going to sleep. I can't even remember if ... Read more

A Porn Addict Talks to “Orgasm”

By

For a sex or porn addict, an orgasm takes on a meaning, an importance, a significance that gets in the way of the rest of his or her life. The natural pleasure becomes confused, can even be lost. In speaking/writing to the desire for an orgasm, this aspect of self, one of our clients moves closer to understanding what is actually driving his need for that one ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular