What Is Sex Addiction & Can It Be Overcome?

By

What Is Sex Addiction & Can It Be Overcome?
Is it possible to learn to work with compulsive or addictive tendencies?

Sex addiction is a compulsive urge to engage in sexual activity, thoughts, or fantasies in ways that are detrimental to an individual, his or her family, friends, and/or work. It blocks the development of true intimacy in a relationship. Sex addiction is also called sexual dependency or sexual compulsivity. Just because someone likes to masturbate or to have sex frequently doesn’t necessarily mean that he or she is a sex addict or has a problem.

For the individual who is caught by sexual compulsion, sex has become something other than an intimate expression of loving connectedness. The pleasure that is inherently present in orgasm or connection with another has been altered and is being used as a balm, an escape, a distraction, rather than being enjoyed for what it does offer.

 

Sexual addiction does not always result in infidelity to a relationship, nor is all sexual infidelity driven by sex addiction. Generally, it is the male of the couple who has an issue with sexual addiction. However, more and more often women are also having these difficulties.

The natural urge for sex, the way sex is used for marketing purposes, and the explosion of porn on the Internet have created a “perfect storm” of conditions leading to sex addiction. To understand sexual addiction, it can help to understand the impulses and motivations that drive sexual behavior.

The Sexual Impulse
As a human, you have an animal body guided by instinct. You also have a reasoning part of your brain that allows you to work with your instinctive responses. In its basic and natural form — if there has not been physical or emotional damage along the way — human sexual contact feels good, touching feels good, having an orgasm feels good. This is normal and wonderful. The natural desire for sex and sexual pleasure is not an enemy.

Basically, we all want to love and be loved. We quite naturally require human connection at a biological level. The natural sexual impulse can guide you to finding the pleasure of sexual contact, closeness, connectedness, and intimacy with your partner. When your natural biochemical responses produce hormonal impulses, you experience sexual desire. However, when those sexual urges get misdirected and become addictive or compulsive, instead of leading to pleasure and connection, the sex drive can lead to suffering.

Biology and Sex
Our needs for sex, touch, attachment, bonding, and commitment are chemically influenced in different ways at different stages of our lives. The hormone testosterone, sometimes called “the warrior hormone,” is found in both men and women. Men, however, tend to have twenty to forty times more testosterone than women. Testosterone creates an urge for sexual contact, but may also foster the desire to dominate and to be alone. Thus, it’s no surprise that men are more inclined to one-night stands — or that they like to roll over and go to sleep afterward.

This article was originally published at Compulsion Solutions . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Compulsion Solutions

Author

Sex Addiction and Porn Addiction—We've been there and we know the way out. Compulsion Solutions offers the time-proven approach of George Collins to damaging sex addict and porn addict behaviors, incorporating scientifically proven “mindfulness” techniques that are now being used by the military to treat PTSD and substance abuse. We've been using this approach and these techniques for over 20 years to help people just like you.

 

 

Location: Walnut Creek, CA
Credentials: BS, LMFT, MA, MFT, Other
Specialties: Sex Addiction
Other Articles/News by Compulsion Solutions:

Sex Addiction Does Not Have To Destroy Sexual Intimacy

By

Many of the men who have issues with sex addiction or porn addiction are dealing with the destructive effects of a childhood filled with degrading emotional abuse from parents, siblings, friends, teachers. Below is an email I received from one of these men who we’ll refer to here as “Bob.” Bob has been married to “Joan” for ... Read more

Living With Someone Who Does Not Seem Interested In YOU?

By

I have a few hard questions for you to think about: Are you in a relationship that is not healthy for you?   Are you scared of intimacy or of being alone? (Maybe you’re scared of both.)   Do you believe that deep down you are really a terribly flawed human being who     doesn’t deserve to be anything but ... Read more

3 Steps To Rebuild Trust During Your Sex Addiction Recovery

By

Each couple shares a sort of bank account. Not an account built on currency, but rather one supported by trust. When the relationship is impacted by sex addiction or porn addiction or when one of the partners acts out sexually, that partner essentially bankrupts the account. They withdraw a large amount of trust, and it shakes the very foundation of the ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular