The Golden Nugget is the ‘reason’ that person came into your life. When you look for the learning in your failed relationships, you allow yourself to grow into a better relationship the next time around. The Golden Nugget is that piece of learning that only that person could give you so you can grow. Look past any hurt or loss and dig deep into what you are grateful for from the experience of having had the relationship.
You can start by writing them a letter sharing all the ways you are grateful for them having been in your life. This is a letter you will never send. It is an exercise for you to uncover that Golden Nugget. Remember that your ex is an EX for a reason. If it was “meant to be,” you would be together and not apart. So accept what is and move on. Never, ever settle! When we say, "Don't settle," we mean it. Do not settle for less than your True Heart's Desire. The challenge is that many of us attach details to that desire that is not at all from your heart, but actually from your head.
Orna was hung-up on a married man for many years. At the time, she believed she "loved" him. She only loved him equal to the amount that she loved herself which is why today we put the word "love" in quotes. When she raised the level at which she valued herself and loved herself completely is when Matthew (who had been in her periphery for over a year) called her to connect.
Matthew was always chasing the unavailable woman. The summer before he and Orna connected, he dated a woman who was constantly finding something "wrong" with him. When he finally told her, "There's nothing wrong with me, I am who I am," and walked away from his old story of chasing love, he did some more inner work around Values and less than two weeks later at the same networking meeting he had been attending for over a year with Orna, he saw her in a whole new light and reached out to her to connect one-on-one.
The love that you desire is not attached to anyone outside of you. Your ex does not hold your only chance for love. Until you change something inside of you, the outside will respond exactly as it has for your entire dating and relationship life. When we say, "Don't settle" we mean it, but not in the way most people imagine that we do. Release all the details of who, when, and how. Now, from that place create a vision of your ideal relationship. How will it function? How will you feel? How will your Beloved respond to you?
Include everything that you could ever want to have in this ideal scenario. Do not be "realistic." Indulge your creative imagination. Once you have this vision, lock it into your subconscious by writing it out in detail. Write out an ideal scene by answering this question: What evidence do you need that will let you know you are with your Beloved?