Is It Possible To Overcome Betrayal?

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Is It Possible To Overcome Betrayal?
With the split of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore hitting the newswire it brings up the question ...

Now that you've given yourself time to move through your emotions, you can start opening your heart to forgiveness. Start having some conversations with him and express how you are feeling in the moment (not about what was, but what is right now).

If he wants to make a go of it and you agree to do that (here is the very important part) — Really forgive him and move on. To be in forgiveness means that it's behind you. Open your heart to your man, see him for who he is, and think of how you feel when you spend time together. How Compassion Facilitates Forgiveness

 

Trust is not on a dimmer switch. Either we trust someone, or we do not. So if you're going to go for it, jump in with both feet and trust!

If worry is something that comes up for you and it is making you anxious, work with a professional to get support for yourself. It is important to have an outlet to discuss your worry (and let's be honest, if this is where you are getting stuck than this pattern of worry has been holding you back in all areas of your life — and this is a great opportunity to release this old pattern that is not serving you). 9 Steps To Setting And Reaching Relationship Goals

5. Set up the rules for moving forward.

Ask for what you need. Tell the truth. It's perfectly okay to say, "If this ever happens again, you will not have another chance. We will be done." Spell it out in your words, in your way (and here is the very hard part) — honor that agreement!

What often happens is that we pick up where we left off in the relationship in a few months … and old habits are difficult to break, but not impossible. Honor yourself by not falling into sacrifice in the relationship. Know what your needs are, express them, and expect him to meet your needs. Got Closure? How to Move Forward

6. Clearly explain what you expect from each other.

He needs to take action to earn your trust. Whether it is in learning to express his feelings and ask for what he needs, wanting him to seek help, or if  both of you want to seek help, it is ok to ask that he take certain actions to show his desire to repair the relationship.

Hold him to these agreements. Be clear on what your deal breakers are and stick to them. It is important for him to know that there are consequences for his actions.  What Does “Learn a Lesson” In Relationships Mean?

When you do this then there is no need to be snooping for things, or to be worried about what he may or may not do. Be clear on what you are doing and how you are feeling when you spend time with him. If he requests that you make some changes and you agree, be sure to honor those agreements 100%. You much each participate in the restructuring of the relationship so that old patterns die off.

Know the saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?" This is most certainly true in relationships. This could be an amazing opportunity to re-engineer the relationship and create something fabulous! 

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Orna And Matthew Walters

Dating Coach

Creating Love On Purpose…not just by accident!

We are Relationship Coaches for Singles who desire LOVE!

Everything in life worth having takes effort. When it comes to matters of the heart we all seem to buy into the idea that it will happen by magic. The truth is that your internal guidance system will continue to create the same dysfunctional relationships over and over again . . . until we make the effort to change our story!

You don't have to settle for just enough! You can have it all! And we are here to show you how.

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Orna and Matthew Walters, C.Ht.

 

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT, Other
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