It’s scary to be honest all the time. We want to be liked and don’t want people to go away. Half-truths often seem to be the more attractive option.
And then there’s being honest in the bedroom. No way, thank you very much.
More from YourTango: Your Body, Your Rules: 10 Ways To Identify A Trustworthy Lover
We want the other person to know all the exact and perfect things to do naturally, and when they don’t, we hold it against them.
When we tell the truth and reveal something we take a risk and raise the energy in the room. There’s a way to make it sexy. There’s a way to set it up that honest communication in the bedroom is the ultimate turn on.
Here are 3 techniques that you can use to spark that turn on today.
Start a relationship journal. Have a journal that you keep in a common area that you and your partner write in daily. Write about how you feel, what you want, fantasies, places that you are feeling stuck. They do the same. It’s amazing how not saying it to someone directly makes it easier to let it out.
More from YourTango: Whipping Love Into Shape: 11 Signs You're A Relationship Flogger
Ask winning questions. Ask yes and no questions that tease out what your partner wants. Something like “do you want me to massage your shoulders” as opposed to “are you having a good time”
Be willing to look silly. Say it, risk it, let the butterflies come up and make the jump. Once you do, you set the stage for your partner to let go and join in the fun.