Why is it anything you tell your child ends up coming out of your ex's mouth all wrong? How does your ex manage to twist your words no matter how carefully you say things?
Your child comes back from his usual "Dad" weekend, all moody and out of sorts. You ask "What's wrong?" He mumbles the usual "Nothing'" but eventually comes out with "Dad says you don't have time for me." "And why does he say that?" you ask, shocked. "Cause you said you wouldn't be calling over the weekend" he replies. You could scream. You couldn't call because you were at a business retreat out in the boonies and your ex darn well knew it, but that part he chose to ignore. You're beside yourself. You're sick of having to watch everything you say – yet what else can you do?
Quit walking on eggshells! Your ex is still angry over the divorce. Mis-interpreting or mis-communicating your words is one way he's expressing his hostility. He isn't going to stop just because you re-phrase what you have to say, he'll just get cleverer at how he does it!
So say whatever you have to say to your son, and when your ex twists it all around, say to your child, "Dad mis-understood, Honey. My cell phone wouldn't work where I was, so I couldn't call. I always have time for you," and give your beloved child a big hug. That's it. No anger, no hysterics, just the facts. Your child will get the message – and your ex? Who cares! He's your ex.
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This article was originally published at http://www.yourmaniswonderful.com/blog. Reprinted with permission from the author.