Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Put Your Put-Downs Down with Love!

Put Your Put-Downs Down with Love!

You: “You really should get
off that couch. You’re getting a belly.”

Him:  “Yeah? And who put on ten pounds she
can’t take off?”

Ouch. That hurt!

But you know the drill –
what goes around comes around. You were critical, he criticized you right back.

Maybe you’re right, maybe
he’s right too – that’s hardly the issue. What matters is how you come at it,
with love or with put-downs.

With love is something like:
“I’m having more trouble getting rid of these 10 pounds. Would you be willing
to do a power-walk with me a couple of times a week, help me get it off?”

Your pounds and his belly
could get in shape pretty darn quick – without either of you suffering a
put-down. . .


Expert advice

If you can recognize this pattern, you can handle your favorite narcissist more effectively.
Are you still single and you don't why?
You constantly feel like you're walking on eggshells.