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• You have three MAJOR problems: 1. There's no room for three people in a relationship. No matter how much he pleads with you, the truth is that if he really wanted to be done with her, he would be. Money is never an excuse for bad behavior or poor choices. 2. Addiction and relationships don't mix. Your gambling is a deal-breaker, and would be for any normal person. It's not just the gambling with your paycheck, it's also the gambling with your heart. You choose high-risk, roller-coaster relationships, and think that one day you'll win the lottery. You won't. You'll just get older and more financially broken until you are all spent. Get help for the gambling, and get help for the love addiction. 3. Impulsivity does not get you happiness. You are making your decisions impulsively, from how you "feel" today, without regard to the long-term outcomes for your life. Learn how to slow down, become more thoughtful, and make decisions based on your highest and greatest good, which doesn't necessarily feel good today. Create a vision for your life that is filled with things that are fulfilling in the long run, not the short run, and begin today to make choices that lead you down that path. SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: are we just too stupid in ...

• Put yourself in his shoes. Imagine yourself in love with a guy, so attracted to him, and maybe he goes along with you and you eventually marry. Then you find that he never wants to touch you or kiss you. Maybe he cares a lot about you, but he doesn't want to make love to you. How would you feel? That's how this guy will feel if you keep dating him without the absolutely essential element of physical attraction. Yes, it takes more than that, but without it, you are setting him up for a world of hurt, and setting yourself up for settling. Move on! SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Should I keep seeing him?

• You have to take emotionals risks to have a great relationship. Both you and your "friend" seem to want to take the least risky path by hanging out and being a couple in every way but sexually. But here's the reality of the situation - your friendship is doomed. Yes doomed! If one of you meets someone new and begins a romantic relationship, there's no way the third person will tolerate what you currently do - sleeping over, seeing each other so frequently. It's all over with at that point. It's true that men and women can be friends (after one or both marry someone else) but only if there's no lingering sexual tension, and of course, your contact is going to be infrequent. No more pajama parties. Sooner or later, that's going to happen, so continuing to spend so much time together and falling in love with someone like this is HIGH risk. Why not go ahead and acknowledge the risk? Why not go ahead and ASK HIM how he really feels about you? You're going to find out eventually anyway, either when he starts dating someone else, or when he gets the cojones to tell you he's in love with you. Why wait? Carpe diem! SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: I think my best friend and ...

• You both sound very confused, and that's not going to be a good foundation for a future together. You met on a site for married people wanting to cheat, yet you now declare you're in love with each other. Furthermore, you are hurting the other people in your lives - your husband and his girlfriend (or wife). Do the right and honorable thing, not the thing that feels good right now. Deal with your marriage with honesty and integrity. Ask him to do the same with his girlfriend. Once you have cleaned up your other messes, then look to see if you can have something real. If you are both strong enough to earn your way out of your current relationships, you might have a shot at something together. SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: is he married or not?

• While I agree with lots of the feedback you have been given, I am going to risk pushing back a bit with you. Two things are driving you right now: one, depression/anxiety which is not being treated, and two, relationship dissatisfaction. It's not clear if one is affecting two, but it is clear that you are in crisis with one. The VERY FIRST thing you need is professional help. Depression and anxiety can reach a "tipping point" where you are no longer capable of making rational choices for your life. Get treatment, whether it is where you live now or back home with friends and family. Research shows that when one person in a relationship becomes depressed the likelihood of a breakup or divorce skyrockets because it is almost impossible for the partner to adequately respond and help. It's unreasonable for you to expect him to fix how you feel. It's unreasonable for you to drift along for so many years not communicating your needs, then suddenly begin doing so in the middle of a major depression, and be upset because he doesn't respond the way you want. But I think, again, that all of this is being driven by depression. Bottom line: get professional help, and don't make any life-altering choices until you are solidly in recovery from your depression. Give your relationship a chance when the clouds begin to clear from your mind and heart. He is your son's father. Couples can go through severe downturns and turn it around - I know many, many who have. Now is not the right time to throw in the towel. When you are ready, go back to the table and negotiate your needs with a strong professional who will advocate for both of you. I'm a believer in "earning your way out" of a long-term relationship. Only after giving him and yoursellf a long road to work on the issues, and realizing together that it's not going to work, but finding forgiveness and closure, are you truly ready to move on. SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Give Advice: Is It Him Or ...

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