3 Things To Consider Before Sleeping With Your Boyfriend

By

3 Things To Consider Before Sleeping With Your Boyfriend [EXPERT]
Before you hop in the sack, check out what the latest research has to say about premarital sex.

Becoming sexual with a partner typically means that the choosing is over for her, and the chasing is over for him. Your bond is deeper and the choice is more real if you've taken the time to really know one another prior to sex.

The other issue is emotional insecurity. Sex-too-soon often causes women to feel insecure and men to steer away from the perception of neediness. She wakes up the next day believing they're in a relationship, while he may feel that he's still checking her out. The bottom line: putting off sex with a new partner — for weeks, if not months — helps you pave the way for a more loving experience.

 

3. Your choice of partner. Postponing sex increases the likelihood of making a better choice of partner, and that is especially true for women. Studies show that women in particular, following sex, experience significant increases of oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding. That is why you can choose a sexual partner thinking it is going to be "fun and games" but wake up the next day craving validation that you are in a relationship.

Because sexual bonding tends to cloud judgment, putting off sex gives you a better shot at remaining somewhat objective, and thus more capable of evaluating a potential partner. The whole point of dating and relating is to choose a good partner, someone to love and be loved by, with whom you share values and want the same outcomes in life.

Sex is a wonderful shared experience in a loving, committed relationship. To get to that experience, you may have to rein in your hormones, practice delayed gratification, and use your rational brain to make choices. But the reward may well be worth the wait!

Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC, is a nationally known psychotherapist, author of five self-help books, and frequent expert media guest. Read the transformational book that will change your life and your relationships with men: Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid. To successfully date online, get Nina's $0.99  eBook Internet Dating for the Savvy Single. Learn how to communicate effectively with your mate with Soul Talk: Powerful, Positive Communication for a Loving Partnership. Get loads of free advice and Love Strategies at www.singlescoach.com.

Article contributed by

Nina Atwood

Author

Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC
The Singlescoach®
Visit my website for FREE resources!
Visit my author page on amazon.com
Love Strategies Internet Radio
 

Location: Dallas, TX
Credentials: LPC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Nina Atwood:

THIS Is The Best Lesson You Can Learn By Following Your Intuition

By

Some situations in life you cannot control, but during those moments that you can (self-inflicted situations we'll call them), how do you handle yourself? Do you listen to your inner compass? Our bodies can pick up emotional energy from other people and the whole field of emotional intelligence has shown us that there's a reason we have a feeling ... Read more

Get Over A Breakup FAST With This #1 Piece Of 'Move On' Advice

By

If breaking up is hard to do, recovery is even harder ... or so it seems. Heartbroken, licking your wounds, you may express your pain in a myriad of ways—withdrawal from friends and normal activities, eating empty carbohydrates or sweets (Ben & Jerry's looks really good right now), drinking to excess, not eating (your appetite is gone), working ... Read more

2 Major Steps You MUST Take For REAL Closure After Divorce

By

What if you are months or years post-divorce and you didn't, as they say, "earn your way out"? You can still do your "emotional homework" and prepare yourself for a better marriage in the future. Part one of the homework you do on your own. Part two is optional, depending on the relationship you have with your ex. Part 1: Take ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular