Want To Save Your Relationship? Try Ditching Facebook

By

Want To Save Your Relationship? Try Ditching Facebook
Spending too much time on Facebook can yield negative relationship outcomes for couples.

Facebook is the biggest social phenomenon of them all: over the past nine years the user base has grown from one million to ONE BILLION! By now, almost everyone knows someone who has used Facebook to reconnect with a long lost lover from the past or who met someone new and started an affair. In fact, we know that Facebook is the launch point for a high percentage of affairs, but is the same true for breakups? Does Facebook contribute to breakups and divorces? The answer is that it depends; in some cases yes and in others, no.

A new study found that high levels of Facebook use among couples significantly predicted Facebook-related conflict, which then significantly predicted negative relationship outcomes, such as cheating, breakup and divorce. What that means is that the more time one or both of you spend on Facebook, the more likely you are to have conflict and/or infidelity in your relationship. You are also more likely to split up or divorce. 

 

But here’s the caveat: it’s mainly in new relationships, less than three years in duration. If you’ve been together longer than three years and one of you starts using Facebook a lot, apparently that is less likely to provoke jealousy. Presumably, your relationship is more committed at that point so you are less likely to break up over Facebook.

What’s the real lesson here? Too much time on Facebook means you may be bypassing real relationships in favor of fantasy connections. Face to face is how we connect, it’s hardwired in our brains and it's how we form lasting relationships. It may seem like it’s less risky to find people on Facebook and flirt on each other’s walls, but the reality is that it makes your real partner feel left out. Jealousy  too much of it  rips apart your bond.

My best advice: minimize Facebook and maximize looking at your partner’s face. Deepen your real world connection and Facebook won’t be nearly as appealing.

About the author: Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC, is a nationally known psychotherapist, author of five self-help books, and frequent expert media guest. Read Nina’s transformational books; for women: Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid, and for men: Date Like a CEO: Leadership in Life and Love for Men. To successfully date online, get Nina’s $0.99 cent eBook Internet Dating for the Savvy Single. Get Nina’s free eBook as well as loads of free advice and Love Strategies at www.singlescoach.com.

More relationship coach adive on YourTango:

This article was originally published at Love Strategies with Nina Atwood, the Singlescoach . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

Nina Atwood

Author

Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC
The Singlescoach®
Visit my website for FREE resources!
Visit my author page on amazon.com
Love Strategies Internet Radio
 

Location: Dallas, TX
Credentials: LPC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Nina Atwood:

The Myth Behind Single Parents Looking For Love ... DEBUNKED!

By

Recently, one of my readers commented that she's deeply offended that single parenting is lumped into a statement on dating wounded people. It was an incomplete statement. To complete the thought—there are single parents who are ready to date, and there are single parents who are not. The number one priority for ANY parent, single or not, should ... Read more

It's Not Him, It's YOU! Shocking Reasons Men Leave Their Marriage

By

After years of marriage with the same man, you may wake up one day and find that he has moved on. The heartache and emotional trauma seem unbearable at first, but eventually you come out of your fog of grief, anger, and possibly confusion, and ask the question—Why? You'll likely tell yourself that you don't understand why he left, but in ... Read more

Marriage Over? The #1 Guide For Women Divorcing Their Husbands

By

Divorce is one of the most painful of life events, and for women it is doubly painful because of emotional and financial dependency. Studies continue to show that most women experience a substantial loss in living standards post-divorce. On the flip side, successful women who divorce often find themselves forced to provide spousal support for a non-working ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular