He has a drinking problem and is possibly an alcoholic. You are not going to be able to change him. Get the lesson now and move on. This situation also calls for having strong interpersonal boundaries.
Don't hesitate to say good night, stand up and leave the restaurant (after calling a taxi if you need to). You do not have to be "nice" to him, and you certainly should not care about offending him.
If he calls you the next day to apologize, thank him, but do not let him talk you into another date with his remorse. The behavior will not change.
But what if you are the one who really likes that fourth drink on a date? Remember that you are putting your best foot forward as well. If you can't stop after the second drink (which is the recommended amount of daily alcohol intake for most women), maybe you have a problem with alcohol. Seek an assessment and treatment before you inflict your problems on someone else.
Having a drink on a date has benefits. It can relax you so you can freely relate to one another minus the nerves associated with new relationships.
But drinking should be enjoyable and never dangerous! Following these simple drinking and dating etiquette rules will keep you from falling into some of the worst temptations and help you stay on the road to a great relationship.
Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC, is a nationally known psychotherapist, author of five self-help books, and frequent expert media guest. Read the transformational book that will change your life and your relationships with men: Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid. To successfully date online, get Nina’s $0.99 cent eBook Internet Dating for the Savvy Single. Learn how to communicate effectively with your mate with Soul Talk: Powerful, Positive Communication for a Loving Partnership. Get loads of free advice and Love Strategies at www.singlescoach.com.