Once you identify the underlying issue, go to work on it diligently. Yes, it will feel like the crisis is over, but don't be fooled. Changing negative relationship patterns is hard work and takes persistence. Are You Running Away From Love?
2. Don't expect instant trust just because you've made amends. One common mistake of those who cheat is apologizing once or twice and then expecting it to be all okay again with their partners. Realize that his emotions may lag behind yours.
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He may have flashbacks to seeing those pictures and feel the betrayal all over again. Make room and space in your heart and emotions to comfort him when he feels that way. New relationship experiences and intimacy should replace the bad images, but that takes time.
3. Don't grovel endlessly. This will sound like a contradiction to my previous tip, but it's not. Eventually, the offender has to stop apologizing. It's demeaning to you to grovel and beg for forgiveness for months on end.
There is a responsibility that your partner has to decide, forgive and move on. At some point, if that isn't happening, you have to bring that to his attention, firmly and lovingly.
Long-term, loving relationships take commitment and work. Post-affair, a couple can forge a new connection that is far more honest and far healthier. Most couples need help with this process, so if this happens in your relationship, get professional guidance. Seek out and gain support from people who will empower your journey to reunite in love and renewed commitment.
If you follow these steps, you have a great shot at putting your relationship back together.
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About the author: Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC, is a nationally known psychotherapist, author of five self-help books, and frequent expert media guest. Read the transformational book that will change your life and your relationships with men: Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid. To successfully date online, get Internet Dating for the Savvy Single. Learn how to communicate effectively with your mate with Soul Talk: Powerful, Positive Communication for a Loving Partnership. Get loads of free advice and Love Strategies at www.singlescoach.com.