In the dating marketplace, you will be rejected and you will reject others. No one is impervious to rejection; this is an undeniable aspect of dating. In order to be successful and forge ahead, here is the best piece of advice I can give you: never compromise and never apologize for your authentic self. We all have different relationship preferences. We have our own individual criteria for dating, and personal benchmarks for love. Some people are simply looking for sex, and some are looking for love. Some people want short-term, while others want long-term. There are those who prefer blondes, and those who prefer brunettes; those looking for quality, and those striving for quantity… There are people seeking men who are similar to their fathers, and others searching for women who are NOT like their mothers. Preferences aside, everyone desires the same outcome in the process of dating: acceptance. Truthfully, you will not be accepted by everyone; however, the people you encounter should be respectful. And for those who are not willing to be respectful, extricate yourself from their toxicity. To all the ladies: if someone is spewing salacious statements, exit stage right; don’t waste your time. To all the men: if a person is trying to debase your honorable intentions, exit stage left; do not deplete your energy. As evolved adults, there is no point arguing with a malevolent person who is devoid of civility. Obviously, there is a discernible distinction between a jackass and someone who is flagrantly harassing you. Regardless of the type, never engage them; you can’t implore logic to the ignorant. Please keep this in mind: people will misconstrue aspects of your true self. Your ethnicity, education, religion, words, body language, and clothing will be judged. In fact, whatever you put out into the world will be subjected to critique, Facebook included. Be prepared for the scrutiny, it presents in varying forms and prejudices. Some people may think a community college denotes inability, while some may feel Ivy League symbolizes pretension. Some may think an Escalade is impressive, while others perceive arrogance. The dating marketplace can be an unpredictable WILD ride… There will always be those who don’t understand you, and feel you would not be an appropriate fit. The key is to represent yourself to the best of your ability, and make no apologies for your truth. Dating can be a timely or lengthy process, given your level of readiness and those you encounter. The scrutinizing you do to others (and the scrutiny you’re confronted with) is an unavoidable aspect of dating. As for your assessment of others, do not prejudge. Imperfections are ubiquitous; try to keep your analysis in perspective. Furthermore, discounting people based on a lack of information, or a first impression, will limit your dating opportunities. Open mindedness is ultimately rewarded. In time you will find a person who loves and accepts you completely, with unwavering conviction. Along the way self-doubt can be tempting… Don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others; it’s debilitating, and destructive to your ego. Yes, you will inevitably find people who are more attractive and more successful than you. This is an inherent part of life. The goal is NOT to be the most beautiful or established person in the room.
Ask The Experts
Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.
How to find the right pro for you
- 10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts
- 10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business
- Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts
- Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session
- Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do
Stories we love