The most successful relationships are the ones where needs are met, and partners share values. If a healthy lifestyle, eating right and exercising are values of yours, you will tend to seek out those values in another person. Together, you will support one another in activities such as going to the gym, enjoying nutritious meal, or living an active lifestyle because those activities are a part of who you are. It will feel easy.
On the flip side, if these are not your values, if you hate working out or you're not interested in changing your diet you may find yourself drawn to someone who is wired the same way. You, too, will support one another — but that support might be directed towards the kind of lifestyle that you both enjoy, healthy or not.
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So what happens when you decide that it's time to lose some weight and get healthy, but your partner isn't on board? How can you set yourself up for success?
This is where things can get tricky. You have a choice to make: Will you be the influencer or the influencee? Let's be honest, you can't change someone who doesn't want to change, but you can inspire someone through your own good habits and results. And then you'll have an ally!
Just as it's very easy to join your partner in unhealthy habits, it can be just as easy, and actually more fun, to join your partner in good health. Barring any deep-seated emotional concerns, most people genuinely want to feel good and be healthy. Most people would prefer to be at a healthy weight and to thrive. If you can appeal to this desire in your partner, and make your health journey a team effort, it becomes something that can bring you closer, strengthen your relationship and also lengthen your life. Now doesn't that sound more valuable than a fleeting dish of curly fries?
There is so much evidence to suggest that losing weight and getting healthy becomes more more effective and enjoyable if you have some support. And if that support can come from your most intimate relationship, even better. Going it alone is certainly possible, but it can present certain challenges and you may be more likely to give up when you get bored or frustrated.
Think about it. You can paint your bedroom by yourself and get the job done just fine. But think of how much more fun it is to have someone doing it with you. Suddenly, instead of being a solitary slog, it's a party!
The same is true when you're trying to lose weight. And the good news is that you don't even have to convince your partner to join you. You simply have to start doing it yourself. Health attracts health. It becomes contagious. If you are around someone who is eating properly, exercising, losing weight, looking better and feeling better, the natural inclination is to join in.
It begins with you, though! Don't wait for permission! Rather than allow yourself to be influenced by the unhealthy habits around you, you can set the tone and be the influencer.
Come home with healthy food. Spring out of bed and get dressed for the gym. Start by shifting your own behavior and, before you know it, you may find yourself with an enthusiastic and motivated partner who is eager to join you. When the two of you unite around your new shared values, there will be no stopping you.
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To your health!