Get clear on what your ideal love looks like so you can more easily attract it!
I'm going to cut right to the chase...
My mission is to open you up to possibilities so that you can have amazing love in an unconventional way, your way.
While most people open conversations with surface type dialogue, that is definitely not my bag. I go real deep and real honest, real quick. More often than not, we go into a relationship and aren't radically honest with ourselves as to what we want. If you don't know exactly what you want, then you'll never know when it actually shows up, and you'll end up settling for something you definitely do not want! No more settling, people!
I started using the following analogy recently that I feel is spot on when it comes to choosing your life partner: If you were looking to hire the CEO for your company (one of the most important roles you could fill), would you pick just anyone? No, you wouldn't! Why is it any different for your life partner? Potential candidates for the CEO position would have to go through multiple rounds of interviews, pass a probationary period, be super aligned with the company's vision, mission, and goals — you get the drift. The same principle applies for your love life and the person that will fill the role of your long haul guy or girl.
There's nothing wrong with having a clear idea of what you want (aka the list). There's everything right with it! The problem comes from the expectations and being stuck to it. Besides, if we can't be radically honest with ourselves about our desires, how could we ever be that way with our potential partners? This inability to look at and be honest about what we want causes so much of the miscommunication and heartache we so often experience in relationships. It does not have to be this way. One thing I've done for aeons now is write out what I want in an ideal partner and an ideal relationship. And it works, believe me!
When I look back at the three major relationships I've had in my life, it's eerie how spot on they were compared to the lists I had written prior to being in them. Each relationship caused me to learn, grow and as a result, refine my list afterward (thanks to doing the ever important relationship autopsies). You may be wondering if I'm in a relationship currently. To answer your question, no, I am not. I ended my most recent relationship in July of this year (2013). He was one of those major relationships I mentioned above, and was everything on my list. However, there was still a lot that didn't work for us, mainly that he wasn't ready or able to give me all I needed in a relationship (you guessed it, that was not stated on my list).
Because we were so open and communicative (definitely on the list), we both decided it was not working. It was one of my most amicable break-ups, and such a healthy relationship all around. Since I have had some time to process my breakup, I'm ready to get back out there. There has been so many revelations, especially since I'm single again and about to hop back on that 'dating horse.' But I've already updated my own Rad Love Wish List and feel excited to see what, or more accurately, who, will show up this time! But enough about me — time to focus on you.
What do you want when it comes to dating, relationships and sex? If you could have your dream relationship, what would that look like?
Take a couple of minutes and allow yourself to dream about it. Literally close your eyes and pIcture it. Go into great detail with your vision and be prepared to paint that picture with words really soon. When you're ready to start making some magic happen in that department, i.e. create your Rad Love Wish List, I have just the Worksheet for you! 10 years in the making, but it's finally complete. All you have to do is sign up for my newsletter and you get the brand spankin' new Rad Love Wish List Worksheet pronto!
Excited yet? I know I'm excited for you! You are an amazing and beautiful being. You deserve amazing love. And you get to create the exact life you want.
So what are you waiting for? Get your worksheet, create your lists, and wish away!
More Advice on Relationships from YourTango:
- A New Twist On The 80/20 Rule For Relationships
- Why Men Are More Distant Than Women In Relationships
- The Best Love Advice On YourTango