Does your giving and giving ever leave you drained, depressed or needing something for yourself? If the answer is yes, then you are not experiencing Pure Love. You can have the biggest heart in the world and give generously to every one else but if that love does not overflow out of self-love, it is definitely not Pure Love. Many people put others before themselves because they are empty inside and their giving needs something in return.
If giving to others ever drains you, it is a clear message that you need to redirect your giving to yourself by putting your needs and desires first and foremost. This is not selfish - it is Self Full! Giving to others must come from a full self otherwise it has expectations attached to it - which become unspoken conditions. Your expectations might be that others act the way you think they should act or that they meet your emotional needs in some way. Remember, when you need something from someone else, you are only giving love to get love - which is not Pure Love at all. Pure Love needs NOTHING from anyone - ever. Love yourself first unconditionally and then your love towards others will be bottomless and rejuvenating.
Only when you love yourself first can others truly feel loved by you - otherwise they will consciously or unconsciously feel your emptiness, neediness and expectation - and experience your giving as an unspoken contract of some sort. In other words, they feel that if they accept your love, something is expected from them in return. This explains why people may shut some "givers" out of their lives in one way or another - they are protecting themselves from emotional vampires masquerading as givers. Harsh? Maybe but true nonetheless.
More from YourTango: Who Could You Become If You Let Go Of Disappointment & Doubt?
When you are full of self-love, you will truly experience more love from others as well. If you ever feel unloved, it is likely because you are filtering others love for you through your emotional needs. When you use love to fulfill your needs and fill yourself up inside, you never experience it as Pure Love. If you are already full inside, the love you receive is genuinely absorbed by you - because love can only be absorbed and felt through love. When love hits emptiness, it becomes empty. When love hits love, it becomes even more love.
More from YourTango: Why Facebook Keeps Us Stuck In The Past
How do I love myself unconditionally?