Have you dated a guy who appears to be fantastic on the surface? He has a good job, is intelligent, attractive, treats you well, takes you on romance dates and the sparks fly. But, in your heart wonder, "How do I know if he is really the right one?"
As a relationship coach, my advice to singles is to first look at your life foundation and priorities before dating. Establishing what you believe is key to knowing if he is the right one and the way to do that is to commit to learning and growing in wisdom.
More from YourTango: Dear Husbands: Helping Out With Chores Is Hot
Say you meet a guy you think is everything you are looking for because he is materially secure and treats you well during the dating stage of your relationship. Once things move toward commitment, you find he is taking you for granted, saying little remarks that are hurtful and tells you a few lies about his whereabouts. If you do not have a solid spiritual foundation, you will rationalize his behavior, telling yourself that he had an off day or he’s under pressure at work and really doesn’t mean to treat you badly.
Wisdom tells you his behavior is a huge red flag and is wrong. You need to leave. You know he is not the right one because you have the understanding of what love is and see this relationship does not match the truth. You think with your heart of wisdom in love.
How can you become wise about your choices in love and build a solid foundation of faith?
You are open to instruction and advice. You admit it, finally. You do not know everything about love and life. It is difficult to reach out for help, especially in an area where one is taught that love will come easily and naturally. Perhaps because you haven’t met the right one, you feel like you’ve failed at love. That is simply not true. Just because life has not gone according to your plan, that does not mean there is an absence of a plan. Listening to and application of godly, wise advice from those who display emotional and relational success, is vital to knowing if he is the right one. The benefit of wisdom is the capacity to see beyond the surface. If you make relationship choices based on what you think is right based on society’s norms, you will be confused as to which direction to go. Confusion leads to disappointment in love and your relationship pattern will repeat.
More from YourTango: Choosing The Right Spouse For A Godly Marriage
You make time for God. The only way to know God, not just know of Him, is to study the Bible. Study means reading the Bible daily so you can have wisdom. Instead of playing yet another mindless app game while you are bored, download the free Bible app, YouVersion. According to a recent New York Times article, 100 million people have downloaded this app. Many of my coaching clients have initially thought the Bible was too difficult to understand. With hundreds of versions to choose from, there is an edition you will love to read. The benefits of attaining this knowledge is the experience of contentment, courage, confidence in life, inner and lasting peace and life progress. You will be careful about the way you live and make the most of your time, taking advantage of good relationship opportunities because your life is based on a solid foundation of faith. You will not squander the open doors to love and will not sabotage relationships. Keep Reading...
More pastoral counselor advice from YourTango: