Create a safe environment. An atmosphere of safety to speak your preferences without suffering repercussions is another key element. Sometimes it is the little nuances we all have that grate on each other’s nerves that one would like to share. These should not be personal attacks and not received as he-doesn’t-love-me-anymore thoughts. Each person should have a right to complain with dignity without suffering a penalty for that honesty. When one takes everything personally, the only behavior that flourishes is dishonesty.
Learn how to express love. You know your significant other loves you when he gives up his football afternoon to go shopping with you. You love that quality time. He feels your love when you give him a back rub without him begging for one. He loves your touch. The tendency is to give love in the manner we want to receive it. This selfless love is key to developing a safe complaining zone.
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Turning complaining into expressing preferences and reaching doable solutions can be achieved in marriage and committed relationships. The result? Closer emotional intimacy, openness in communication and sensitivity to each other's feelings which will lead to an overall higher satisfaction and fulfillment in love.
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Nancy Pina is a highly recognized author, relationship coach and speaker. She is dedicated to helping individuals attract emotionally healthy relationships through her practical, Christian-based advice. Visit here for articles, exercises, coaching options and recent books.