A study tells us why your internal attraction meter is not a reliable gauge for love.
3. Love needs mystery. Movies are good at creating an illusion of love that does not work in life. The person who cannot share feelings and communicate openly and honestly is not the best choice long-term. Choosing to date those who are highly attractive because one feels more valuable and important is a sure path to many other relationship insecurities.
4. If I have to work at love, then the romance is gone. Working through the personal barriers to love someone that have resulted from past emotional hurt will not take the romance out of future dates and commitments. Just the opposite will happen; you will have a clear vision of the right person for you. The idea that this individual will intuitively know all the right things to say, the emotional buttons not to push and the nuances that make up your personality is unrealistic. Part of the journey of creating a deeply connected relationship is working through the challenges that arise and getting through each one successfully. Evolving together is a wonderful shared experience and will lead to romance unlike anything you can imagine!
Fear has no place in the search and attainment of lasting love. I encourage you to take a different approach to your dating choices — believe you will attract the right relationship when you place quality character, shared morals and values and relationship goals at the top of your priority list instead of making instant attraction decisions.
Nancy Pina is a highly recognized author, relationship coach and speaker. She is dedicated to helping individuals attract emotionally healthy relationships through her practical, Christian-based advice. Visit here for articles, exercises, coaching options and recent books.